Ok stig, I am with you. I know, and believe that if I had what it takes, she wouldnt wander if brad pitt shared our bedroom. But.... You dont put your wife in the position I did. She had no respite, and was naive. In your analogy, you dont leave the money lying there if your best friends kids are in need of food and he has no money. You dont put a hot dog on the floor and beat the dog if he eats it. She is a human, not some supreme mistress of all things moral.
Even Nop called me on this. Why did I play relational leap frog. I have argued this both ways in my head, taken your current stance with my mother, and been chastised for it by the ladies here also.
I bet you werent dumb enough to let OM live with you, watch him pursue your wife unchallanged, and include him in extracurricular play times to boot. Here OM drop tons of LU into my W LB, while I cut off our strong, important to her EC.
She has integrity, but she is very much controlled by PEA and NGF when it hits her. she is hypersensitive to chemicals. I knew this. I am not, maybe you arent either. I can pretty much remain unchanged to outward appearances. Oh but I found one I am not. overpowering jealousy, loss and withdrawal. Maybe thats my curse the good ones are not overwhelming the bad ones destroy me. LOL. We are talking about biology here. You dont mess with that. I loved her because she had so much emotionality. I stopped being her rock and her sturdy man. I shut her out. ughh. Its done. over. Lets deal with you.
Like I said. I can't hold others to my standards No you can choose to not allow those without your standards to be a part of your life though.
in this instance, violates our value constructs. Hard to get back to that trust, if ever. Sigh. So do we drop our hard line with our x's? Is there even such a concept as levels of trust? And, if in new R where do we set the bar now?
Boundaries. I know what I want from a Marriage. Im not afraid of not finding another, not afraid of being alone, not afraid there isnt as good. I dont want to play ping pong with OM using my x as ball. I love her more then that. I RESPECT myself more then that. I wont settle for less then what I want. Hopefully I will be more rational and not expect the ridiculous, next time. I dont think I will. I have a good feeling on the difference between cherishing and protecting and jealousy now. YOur R is for you to decide. My x is no longer in my reality. Judge banished her to alternate universe.
Well see if my future insecurities are stronger then this insight I have gained.
If you quit posting at some predetermined number, I am going to send a cross-continental, telekinetic, smack to the head.
Im going to be incommunicado for a few days now, again.
