Stigmata: Bear with me a second, as I tell a funny story. I have a huge nose. It started growing in about seventh grade, and outpaced the rest of the face. As the SSM folks suspect, I was able to circumvent a lot of the pain associated with a big nose and the accompanying insults, with humor ("big nose, big hose"; "I don't have a long nose, I have a short face"; " "Wow, check that out...that is huge!" "Yeah, that's what your momma said last night, buddy").
But my nasal humor paled in comparison to that of my best friend. Once, when we and some other friends were sitting around in his basement (I swear, even though it was the late 70s, and we were listening to the local rock station, we were NOT getting high), I sneezed. This particular sneeze was like some sort of low-grade nuke-yoo-lar blast. (Who am I kidding...all of my sneezes are like that). It was loud, and, as soon as the echoes of it died away, we were left with silence. My friend was the first one to speak up. With his hands outstretched, as if he were grabbing an invisible basketball, and his face twisted in a mixture of wonder and hope and sincere honesty he said:
"If only there was a way to harness that power!"
And that's the point I'm trying to make, Stig. That was a great read, made even more compelling by the circuitous, stream - of - consciousness method you used. You are a creative, intelligent, emotionally vibrant writer, and if you're at all like that in person, well, meeting you would be an intense event.
You are going through some painful times right now, and have suffered in the past. But don't let it consume you. Instead, think about this trite phrase: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. It's trite, but there's a lot of wisdom there, too. I know that my pain has forced me to grow in ways I never would have, but for the need to stretch, to understand, to comprehend the madness.
