When you're ready to date, things will work out. Sorry you had such a bad experience with that man, but it's good you found out what an a.....e he was before you got involved with him.
My date last night was nice. And he gave me only three peach roses. Actually, he's only kissed me on the cheek at this point. I really don't think he wants exclusivity with me yet.
But the other one (the older one) is a different story. We have a date on Friday. We talked a long time last night and he told me he was attracted to me and eventually wants a physical relationship--whenever I'm ready--were his words. I think he's also seeing someone else. He knows about my younger guy and I told him I ceased contact with my WAH. He wanted to be sure that my H will not want to come home and reconcile.
And I WILL take things slow. I plan on giving him enough hope that he'll still want to date me, but I'm not ready now for an intimate relationship with him.
I really don't know what the younger one wants. Both like to dance,-which sounds like fun--and the older one and I have fun hiking--even when it's in the 30s here.
And probably because of the support from you and the rest of the wonderful souls on these forums, and my MFs, I DIDN'T go to the RV last night. I came home, put the roses in a vase, wrote a little on the forums, cried some, and then called my daughter in Charlotte.
My daughter had talked to my H on Sunday, and she said that both of them think I'll give in and break the no-contact. Her interest is doubled right now because H and I were suppose to meet D and her H Monday to exchange presents. So she and H are waiting for me to "give in."
Lisa, this will truly be a 180 for me if I can exercise some self-control and not contact him. They both don't think I have it in me--that I'm not strong enough. And especially because of the Christmas season they are just waiting it out. However, my D told me to drive up myself on Christmas Eve-even though they're going to a Football game in the afternoon. So, rather than spending Christmas day with my H as originally planned, I think I'll drive up there. Whether or not the older MF will ask to spend some of Christmas with me is in the air. He's asked me several time what I will be doing. But at this point, I don't think I want to be with any man on Christmas. As my D said, "it's still early, you might change your mind."
I understand your fears of dating and getting involved with someone else. I have all of those same fears. But I really don't think it's healthy to sit and cry over someone who for seven months has told you he doesn't want to be committed to you anymore. And I know it isn't healthy for him to continue to cakewalk with me--hope I used that term right, never heard it used before these forums.
You mentioned that you didn't know if a person (like your Dave) could actually pick themselves up after going so low. My personal belief is that anyone can do anything to help themselves. Dr Wayne Dyer in one of his books says that if we see ourselves as better than we have been in the past, that is reason to believe we can and are changing for the better.
Do you see Dave and his OW staying together? It sounds very good to me that you have put the idea of revenge out of your heart. I know the last time I saw my councelor, he told me I should "get angry," that anger would help me cope with my H better. But I find the more angry I became in the past, the worse I felt. I really think that forgivness, detaching and working on ourselves is where it's at.
Need to get off here, am going down to eat lunch, which will be some of the food I brought home from the restaurant last night.
