Hey sweetie...sounds like a wonderful date...roses too eh? WHOAH!! He wants exclusivety with you when you are ready and you didn't run? I would have run like hell outta there...I went on a date with someone from an online site after a couple of months...and over dinner the guy literally says "So we're going to be an exclusive item, you're going to be my GF?" I just about spit my food all over him...you have got to be kidding me I am thinking...what was your last name btw? I just explained that I was getting my feet wet in the dating game and really wasn't looking for anything. Let's just say he ended up going psycho on me. Sent me hateful emails, stalked me online, showing up at the dart bar (this is why you don't poop where you eat and you don't take dates to the place either). It curbed my dating appetite for quite some bit.
Take it slow honey...very slow. He may be wonderful but right now you are extremly vulnerable. I realized how vulnerable I was early on in all this when a friend was putting the moves on me and one of my MFs stepped in and said dude, back off, you're her friend and she's pretty vulnerable right now...back off k? Of course this was the same MF who had ulterior motives...but all that has been since worked out.
That's why I prefer hanging out in packs of friends like back when I was in school. Safety in numbers. I don't have to worry about anything now. If anyone bothers me, I have plenty of MFs who will take care of the sitch for me. Sheesh, they are making me check in with them while I go away at the end of the month. But that's friendship.
You have been in this sitch just a month more than me...and it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I announced that I was ready to start dating...and honestly, I wonder too. But now for another reason. Fear. Fear of feeling things again, fear of the unknown, fear of acceptance, fear of being loved...oh the list could continue. I know that I am capable of loving someone. But I don't know how worthy I feel of being loved. Make sense...I see myself already when someone comes up to talk to me, i back off like there is no tomorrow...I'm afraid of building a wall around me that no one will be able to get in.
As for Dave and I...honestly none of us know what the future holds for any of us. It's hard to predict. You read about people coming back after a year or two or even more and rediscovering their love for each other. It's possible I suppose...but at this junction in my life, we are two very different people. We had it all together, we were on top of the world for several years and I don't know that it would be possible to have that again with him.
I don't know if it is possible for someone when they have sunk to the lows of low to bring themselves back up. I cannot go down to where he is. I am not willing to do that. Does it mean that I don't love him...of course i still love him...just like everyone else here still does love their WAS even if they close the door on them. It's a matter of loving yourself more though.
And believe it or not, I'm kinda being respectful to both Dave and Kimmie here. Its quite obvious that she is not very stable mentally...and she is extremly threatened by us having a friendship. They don't need the interference of me in their lives. I could really have fun with it and make her nuts...but you know what...it's not really worth it...if he had wanted to be with me, he knows the address here. Simple as that. I take the higher road and move on.
So did you go to the RV? I am going to bet that you did...don't rub it in his face honey...just know that you had a lovely time...be mysterious about it and smile on the inside.
