There is a fine line when you have children, finances...etc together in a M. I would address those exactly as NYS suggests. It gets easier as you detach from them. Emotions no longer become an everyday issue for you. Then just don't drive your every mental thought...and then when you do have contact you are emotionally detached, you sound more confident and stronger. Example: When Dave phoned the other day about his father having the heart attack. I had tears of course welling up in me and you could obviously hear that but I was not balling...I was still able to think and speak and listen to him as he described everything that was going on. By the time he decided that he obviously still needed to talk to me and called me back I was very much together and really was able to sit there and listen and really didn't say too much other than validate everything that he said. I was no longer driven by emotion when we talked. He obviously found a comfort level there and felt compelled to call back again.
Cake walkers want the best of both worlds...what fulfillment you bring them as well as what the op brings to them. The key of course is to fulfill all their needs emotionally as well of course as physically. I tend to flip flop on the ML part with a WAS. I understand that under certain circumstances it can bring both parties much closer...but from what I have seen in the past from other boards, it also tends to push the WAS further away. I am not sure why...perhaps because the guilt is even more intense.
