Much later, some has changed much has not !

[DavidA]

and you'll have your pick of available women

Where ? Where ? Maybe it's my frame of mind and the circles I travel in but the available women I find are all a little nuts. Some a lot nuts ! This is the average profile of the women that I look at that I find physically attractive on the dating sites.
" Looking for a Tall, dark, handsome, rugged outdoor guy who makes a 6 figure income and has all the time in the world to spend with me..." Does this guy exist ? Just venting here don't read to much into it.

I haven't really been ready for this anyway as you can tell I'm still going through some issues. As I stated in a previous post I know I can't fix her or suggest she fix herself only move on with my life. I'm only saying in the mean time I will treat her with dignity and respect and not stoop to the nasty crap you hear so much about in the average divorce now a days. I try and live my life as a Christian and offer my forgiveness as much as I can not only for her sake but for mine.

No matter how many times I've been told and have read that it's a matter of time for a BS to recover and move on, we all look for the shorter path to get our lives back to a place where we can wake up in the morning with a smile on our faces and be happy with the lot we've drawn in life.

I am a firm believer of what goes around comes around. I don't want a bunch of nasty crap and troubles coming around back at me. This is why I live my life as I do and treat my X and everyone else the way I do. Have you ever seen the movie "Pay it Forward" ? A very powerful story about a little boy who started a movement to do something good for someone in need. Something that would be very difficult or near impossible for you to do. The catch is that the person you did this for was obligated to pay it forward to someone else. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the majority of the people in this world lived their lives this way ?!

My most difficult task that I am having trouble doing is offering forgiveness to the X's new husband. He was the third wheel that played a role in the demise of our marriage and I realize it's a giant step in the journey of my recovery to forgive him to his face. It's tough to rationalize and separate forgiveness from condoning the actions that led up to this whole mess and how he treats my X and my kids.

Seems all pretty simple when you spell it out here. But for me it's like trying to climb Everest. I don't know if I'll ever make it to the top, or die trying to get there.

Time to start making Xmas preparations. A Happy, Healthy and prosperous Christmas and New Years to all of you. May we be blessed with Peace and Love in the year to come.