Great post Chrome.
I once saw an episode of Oprah where the woman on the show said she "let herself go" so that she did not have to fight off male attention anymore. She did not trust herself to not stray and went about it in what seems like a strange way. But the more I think about it, I think MANY M people do this all the time. Gain weight, stop worrying so much about their appearance etc Why bother? You are M now so you are only going to be with that one person.
Of course this backfires because the the logic of letting yourself go to avoid the other sexes attention is also going to include your S naturally. They are no different than any other man or woman. If other people find you attractive, it makes sense that your S will also find you attractive and vice versa.
Thus, H and I have been committed to going to the gym to get into better shape. I can honestly say I feel better about myself and my body than I probably ever have. I also like the attention I seem to attract from men at the gym or where ever. Maybe it's a good thing H will be there now
I also can honestly say that I would love for my H to have six-pack abs that all the women love to gawk at. Really would not bother me at all. Cause I'd be gawking too! I'd never ask him to attain such a goal but you get the idea.
Ok, maybe I am shooting too high. But the point is, the better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you will be to others. With first impressions, a lot of that has to do with appearance. Feeling good about myself makes me look and feel sexier. I bet some of that is happening to you too. You are more confident in your whole approach to life so the women can see it oozing out of you Your height is definitely a plus too. Very manly.
So all of that will definitely have an effect on your W. I think it is good for her to realize or even witness your attractiveness to other women. I make sure H realizes it all the time
But yes, when it gets into jealousy territory, that can lead to trouble. Isn't jealousy usually about that person's own insecurity though? I remember when I had just given birth to #2, H was working with all women at the office and all seemed so much more exciting than myself. I got jealous even though there was no evidence for any inappropriate behavior. It was just my own feelings of insecurity and not feeling good about my appearance at the time that led to jealousy. When I am feeling good about myself, I feel like I am the hottest woman in the room even if that may obviously not be true. But I can be confident without being too obnoxious. The confidence is what I think men find sexy. Not necessarily my butt or whatever, although I have been told that is one of my best features. Not my small b-size breasts. And sorry Cobra, but I would defintely be offended if H asked me to get a boob job. If it's not something I can naturally work at, like getting a more toned body through exercise or whatever, than I think it is very inappropriate to ask someone to have invasive surgery to simply meet your ideals of what an attractive body part looks like. Ok, off that tangent.
Now I lost my train of thought.
This is long enough I'd say.