GEL Thanks for the feedback. I did send out that vibe on the post but will not be sending that vibe tonight. The hard part for me is that back then on that infamous date, I thought I was sending out all positive vibes and got dissed big time. I just need to remember HE is in a different place now and that will not be his reaction tonight. As for changing the restaurant, I REALLY want to go to this particular place again and make positive memories. It has the BEST food. It's very expensive but for special occasions you can't beat it. I'll leave my expectations for romance at home and just go for the yummy food and drinks! I love good food. Probably second on my list of top enjoyments, below hot sex of course
Are you going to demand a hot kiss with THAT expression on your face? LOL
What? Not sexy? No no no I will be my usual charming self lol. In fact, like I told GEL, I am just going to go into it expecting good food and drinks and not anything specific from H. Less pressure that way. The past is the past. That was long enough ago that it is no longer the pattern of your life right now. Agreed. We are both in a completely different place in our M now so it should not really be a problem. I just tend to dwell on the negative too much sometimes. Hurt feelings are hard to mend but we are making really good progress. Don't act, do. Ok Yoda Picture the situation. Your "date" is having a great time, all smiles, laughing, talking, joking ... or your "date" is sitting there frowing, looking at you expectantly, fidgeting uncomfortably, looking hurt. Which one would you want to kiss? Trust me, after one of their martinis, I'll be extremely relaxed and my usual sexy, cute self Guess I don't need to seek help on your self-esteem thread do I? Actually, this is all really newfound self-esteem but I am running with it. If I feel good about myself, it doesn't matter if anyone else, even my H, validates it. I WANT him to but don't NEED him too. That is a big change and makes me feel much stronger about myself and the M. Ironically, since I have been acting/feeling like this, he is much more attracted to me so it really works! Keep working on your own self-esteem Chrome. Your W will definitely take notice
You said something that is key. "If I feel good about myself, it doesn't matter if anyone else, even my H, validates it." Good for you for realizing this!!! If YOU feel good about yourself it also makes a HUGE difference in how others perceive you. It is a large component of that self-confidence that others find attractive.
That is almost verbatim to something my H told me attracted him to me. I'm confident, I'm self-assured....he finds that a very attractive quality. I couldn't be those things though if I didn't feel good about myself. Granted our sitch has broken some chinks in my self-confidence....but for the most part it's still there. I think that's why I've managed to stick with him through this situation of ours. Deep down....I've always known, it's not me. I am attractive, I am sexy, I am many, many things that his issues often prevent him from acknowledging.
Work on feeling good about yourself...it will only do good things for you!
Well, the dinner was the least of the highlights this weekend. Spent five hours in the emergency room with our 4 year old D getting stitches on her forehead Sledding accident. Poor thing. First time we've needed to take either kid to the hospital so that was traumatic enough in itself. She's ok now though. Didn't even cry getting the stitches. Not exctly how I planned on spending the day but that's life. The dinner by the way was really nice, fun...but not romantic/sexy. I was ok with it though. Not the best week for me anyways to feel very sexy. Just getting over pms and all. Blech. Hope this week and Valentine's is a little sexier but I'm going to try and just go with the mood and not expect too much.
H and I had a fun sexual encounter yesterday...in the middle of the day...at his initiation He came home from doing the grocery shopping (I see the eye roll from here BF) and pulled out this box of Extended Pleasure condoms that he just bought, no prompting from me or anything...really. So he says, the reason he bought them is related to the fact that he went off his AD's almost 2 months ago. He didn't want to tell me since he thought I would be micro-analyzing all of his moods. Which I would have So looking back over the past 6 weeks or so, he does seem to be in a very good mood which is nice. Getting back to the sex, he stated that he feels like since he is off the ad's his O's are really hard to control, coming too fast, literally, lol. This is true and I have noticed it. He always takes care of me afterwards or before so it's not a huge thing but it would be nice to have that IC connection longer. Ok, so we start going at it and the condom has some type of numbing agent on it that proceeds to numb not just him, but me too. Not helpful! Then I somehow get some in my mouth and feel like I am at the dentist. Totally numb! At least we could laugh about it. So I don't recommend the condoms with the numbing agent that is supposed to "extend the pleasure". Someone could have performed surgery down there and I wouldn't have felt it I think he had a good idea though. Maybe we will try just regular condoms instead. He felt so bad that he even pulled out the vibrator We were both laughing so hard, but since this is me I did manage to O after some time. Poor guy. At least he wasn't down there performing oral. He would have one sore tongue today So overall, a bizarre but pretty uninhibited performance on both our parts. That is progress. Plus while he was using the "toy" on me he kept telling me how sexy I looked He rarely talks at all during the act so this is big stuff for him. He's really coming out of his shell and I am glad to hear he is functioning so well off the ad's. Things are looking up in the LFL household. Let's hope the momentum keeps going.
Quote: Ok, so we start going at it and the condom has some type of numbing agent on it that proceeds to numb not just him, but me too. Not helpful! Then I somehow get some in my mouth and feel like I am at the dentist. Totally numb! At least we could laugh about it. So I don't recommend the condoms with the numbing agent that is supposed to "extend the pleasure". Someone could have performed surgery down there and I wouldn't have felt it
Oh, too funny! NOP and I discovered the staying power of the capacin in hot peppers when even after multiple handwashings after chopping up a few for dinner one evening, even after several hours had passed and after a shower, when NOP and I began the "warmup" I noticed a warming sensation in my tingly bits. At first I discounted it thinking my brain was just misinterpreting the signal my nervous system was sending me.
Until a certain level of "YEE-OUCH" kicked and I had to run to the bathroom looking for water. It took us a few moments to figure it out. We cracked up and resumed the festivities.
So, if you enjoy making your own Mexican food, watch out for the peppers.
"Ok, so we start going at it and the condom has some type of numbing agent on it that proceeds to numb not just him, but me too."
NOTE to self, extended ... pleasure ... condoms ... don't ... buy. Got it, thanks for the tip LFL.
"Then I somehow get some in my mouth and feel like I am at the dentist."
Not going to ask.
"So overall, a bizarre but pretty uninhibited performance on both our parts. That is progress."
I agree completely. Uninhibited is great. You are doing exactly what I was saying I need to do. Don't go in with expectations, have fun, and whatever happens happens. Dang, I'm jealous.
"He's really coming out of his shell and I am glad to hear he is functioning so well off the ad's. Things are looking up in the LFL household. Let's hope the momentum keeps going."
It sounds to me as if the AD's might have been a huge part of the problem. So long as he is not diving back into depression, you should consider him staying off those permanently.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Figured we could all use a laugh after all of these serious posts lately. Hope things are going a little better for you. Staying out of Resentmentville and all.
MrsNop! That is too funny. H loves hot peppers. Probably wouldn't want that on his private parts though Actually, after the incident yesterday he admitted that as soon as he put the condom on he felt this burning sensation on the tip of his penis and was in pain for about 10 seconds! He said if it lasted 2 more seconds he was going to have to tear the condom off. But it numbed right up. Gee, now that I think about it, thanks a lot H for not forwarning me about that problem Guess he thought the numbing agent was going to stay inside the condom. Oh well. Live and learn. Glad to hear you and MrNop were able to continue your own festivities after your "incident". Now that's a true test of a M! Can you resume sexual interest when either person's tingling bits are on fire
No no no I will be my usual charming self lol. In fact, like I told GEL, I am just going to go into it expecting good food and drinks and not anything specific from H. Less pressure that way. 
If YOU feel good about yourself it also makes a HUGE difference in how others perceive you. It is a large component of that self-confidence that others find attractive.
Sledding accident. Poor thing. First time we've needed to take either kid to the hospital so that was traumatic enough in itself. She's ok now though. Didn't even cry getting the stitches. Not exctly how I planned on spending the day but that's life.
So looking back over the past 6 weeks or so, he does seem to be in a very good mood which is nice. 
We were both laughing so hard, but since this is me 
He said if it lasted 2 more seconds he was going to have to tear the condom off. But it numbed right up.