Well I went off. She wasnt invested enough in the R to stick around. You are.
Well, you are right about that. I have two very important investments in this M, my two little beauties. I need to try and make this M work for them as well as for me and H.
How are you by the way? Haven't heard too much from you lately. Maybe you could start a new BF thread. We could analyze your myriad of dates/trysts and male-female bar antics.
Don't tell me you are too busy working. All work and no play makes BF a dull boy. Wouldn't want to get rusty on you R skills either. Practice makes perfect.
Great to hear things are improving. I should also take lessons and learn from this
Thanks Cally! I was very resistent to the whole "tell him what you want" idea. I thought he should just "get it". The thing is, now that I have been specific, he seems to understand more on his own what I want to here and will tell me without any prompting anymore so that is a plus!
That's great news for you!!! I know exactly what you mean...I don't need to hear from my H "honey the house looks great!" It's nice to hear he noticed....but what I need is him to notice ME. My H is doing much better about this as well, makes a big difference doesn't it?
Chrome, Your thread was locked up so I was forced to go searching for mine, finally. Ok, did you see Chris Martin on the Grammy's last night? They played Let's Talk and I thought he sounded pretty bad. Was acting pretty loopy too. Not their best. I think I watched thru U2 and then went to bed.
So things in the LFL household are good despite the lack of sex. More my fault than anything. Just not feeling it lately. Not sure what is wrong with me other than pms. We'll see how it goes next week. Also, this morning I pulled a muscle or tendon in the back of my calf at the gym. Drats! I really wanted to go to the gym a lot this week to make myself feel less bloated and draggy but my body is rebelling against me. Maybe I will just do upper body for now. H has been in a good mood lately and still very good about showing affection etc. He has also been doing cute little things like putting love notes under my pillow and stuff. Awwwww. So I can't complain too much about him (there's a change)
"Your thread was locked up so I was forced to go searching for mine, finally."
Oops! I'd better start a new one. No telling how many people are anxiously awaiting a chance to post on my thread.
"Ok, did you see Chris Martin on the Grammy's last night? They played Let's Talk and I thought he sounded pretty bad. Was acting pretty loopy too. Not their best."
NO!!! I didn't watch it last night. That stinks. I love Coldplay. He is a pretty loopy guy overall I think. Oh well. Too bad they couldn't get Keane, Howie Day, or James Blunt up there.
"H has been in a good mood lately and still very good about showing affection etc. He has also been doing cute little things like putting love notes under my pillow and stuff. Awwwww. So I can't complain too much about him (there's a change)"
I think you and I are in a similar place then. The affection has been steadily getting better in the chrome household, and there is no sex b/c the W is not in the mood. LOL I know, different background situation, just oddly similar.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Glad to hear there is more affection in your house. At least that is something. I am trying to focus on more positives lately and not put so much pressure on the sex issue. It does make things less stressful overall but there is that fine line between keeping the peace and avoidance. I don't want to avoid but I think we both probably still do at times. The last thing I want to do is slip back into friendly but detached mode with him. Still working on it of course.
H and I are going out tonight to one of my favorite restaurants as a belated b-day present. I'm sort of kicking myself now for suggesting this restaurant because the last time we were there was Dec 04 on one of our attempted "dates" during the separation. It does not bring back good memories and I really didn't start thinking about it until this morning. I remember that night being a turning point in my mind because I was feeling, well, really horny to put it bluntly. I kept thinking I could entice him into some romance/sex and it failed miserably. Tried kissing him and he like a brick wall. Humiliating. And at the time, I remember thinking, are your f-ing kidding me? I'm hot! That's when I finally said screw him and went out and found om to validate everything I was feeling. Maybe I wasn't really feeling it though or I wouldn't have been so eager to be with om? Did I need him to tell me I was sexually attractive? Not really. But the confirmation was needed at that time because I was so vulnerable to being dissed by my own H So tonight, I am hoping to make some better memories with H at this restaurant and I better get a hot kiss if nothing else! The sad part is he probably doesn't even remember the whole incident from last time. Part of me wants to tell him again but what point would I be making? Yes, he knows he hurt me and I certainly don't want to make him feel like he Has to show his attraction to me tonight. That would seem insincere to me. So I am just going to play it cool and act "as if" and have a good time. The apple martinis should help
Your post sounded to me as if you already have expectations of what your H should do tonight...or you're going to be angry. Maybe I misread your post....but that was the feeling I got from it. If you go out with that "vibe" attached to this place...don't go there, go somewhere else. You can always tell him...."would you mind if we go xyz? I'm really in the mood for (whatever type food they have)."
I guess...after reading many of your posts, I have this feeling that you might find yourself sitting at dinner...waiting, watching, and expecting for him to do something, which will in turn send out a vibe (if you will) that could push him away....and tick you right off.
If you do go to this particular place....leave your expecations at home. It's not easy, but try.
"So tonight, I am hoping to make some better memories with H at this restaurant"
That's a good plan, you need to replace the memories of "bad date with H leading to OM" with "this is a place I had a good time with H." Important in moving on with your life.
"I better get a hot kiss if nothing else! "
Just had to laugh at that one. Are you going to demand a hot kiss with THAT expression on your face? LOL
"Part of me wants to tell him again but what point would I be making?"
No point to be made. The past is the past. That was long enough ago that it is no longer the pattern of your life right now.
"I am just going to play it cool and act "as if" and have a good time."
Don't act, do. Have a good time, whether there is a hot kiss or not. Picture the situation. Your "date" is having a great time, all smiles, laughing, talking, joking ... or your "date" is sitting there frowing, looking at you expectantly, fidgeting uncomfortably, looking hurt. Which one would you want to kiss?
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I really wanted to go to the gym a lot this week to make myself feel less bloated and draggy but my body is rebelling against me. Maybe I will just do upper body for now.
