All valid points GEL. Won't deny any of them. I am not doing my part to totally open up to him. I am choosing not to and this is why: giving 100% of myself to him right now is not a smart thing to do. So he can receive all of me and I will get 40-50% of him? I'm not going to do that. Until I see some real openness on his end, he will not be receiving the true LFL. Another Mexican standoff? Maybe of sorts. But my self-respect is just about at the breaking point. I am willing to give as much as he gives. If he gives more, I'll gladly give more. I will not be driving this train anymore. Didn't work before and it won't work now. He needs to start taking the initiative. If he wants to sit back and pretend like things are ok again then he is making a mistake. And yes, I do tell him this quite clearly. He knows how I feel and yet within hours of one of our discussions he retreats to his old self. Ok, that's his choice. I have choices too. I choose not to put myself in a position where I not only get hurt again, but he never even earned that place in my head/heart again either. I would never forgive myself.
