LFL the way I see it is this....you aren't willing to give him the chance to be open with you. BUT, IMPO...you are withholding that part of you from him too.
Trust isn't the same as openess in this case as I see it. It is not an enigm, within a puzzle, wrapped around a riddle. Openess....is a choice. You may not be able to force yourself to trust him right now....but you can make a choice to be open with him about yourself. Not being open with him right now is a choice you are making....out of resentment.
I'm going to be flat out blunt right now. I see you hanging on to resentment, I don't see you trying to let it go. It appears to me as if this resentment is a comfort to you of sorts, it's almost as if that "resentment" is your excuse to stay angry and not give your H a real chance again. Now, I'm not saying you didn't have reason to be resentful, but now you have made the choice to try again and you are protecting that resentment and that's not good. That is what I see anyway....it's like it's becoming your armour.
Here's a question for you. Do you feel that if you do the things it might take to start letting go of this resentment and start trusting him again that he's just going to hurt you again? You have already admitted that you don't think there's anything he can do to regain your trust....saying things like that says to me "he can't win back my trust, he won't win back my trust, I won't trust him...I won't let him back in."
Just my observations, take em for what they're worth.
