Hi LFL... Glad you are continuing to post...otherwise, I think I'd have to start myself on an IV chicken soup ( or maybe chocolate) drip.
One thing to keep in mind... Your ambivalence about your H started way before he left you. I don't blame you for being focused on H's walk-away behavior...it's plenty traumatic...but you weren't happy before either. You both are going to have to come together to make something entirely new, and it begins by committing to the process. H is getting there...and so are you. It's exciting, but also exhausting, so remember to do the things you need to do to take care of you.
The board here is filled with emotional HD women and their LD closed off men...I am an anomaly because I can do both extremes. Eventually you get to a place of accepting and appreciating each other and accepting and appreciating yourself. I can now value my H's ability to connect to the external world, and hopefully he is feeling the same way about my more internal, mysterious nature. You start to join together and see each other's stengths rather than live in separate worlds.
Hang in there, and if you get a chance read over some of the stories in the MLC forum. I am awed by the level of determination and ability some of the left -behind spouses have to keep their eye on the goal despite cruel, adverse ( and hopefully temporary) conditions. Not saying you should do this...but it is inspiring.
