Help!! Found info on WO, I have date with H tomorr

[PandaWanda]

I should have listened to everyone and not snooped. Now I know who and where the OW lives and her phone number. I found her name in the papers of the garbage and found her address and phone # on Whitepages.com

Dear Rere, I know how it feels because I went through this myself recently. One thing is to know that he has an affair another is to see the evidence. But don't beat yourself up for snooping. It is painful, but it didn't make your situation any worse. In my opinion - better. I feel more in control knowing what's going on and with whom - than without knowing. Knowing the facts and having the evidence is powerful.

What hurts so much is that he's written love letters to her and I read them. He sees me and we ML and he's telling her how much she means to him.

Yes, it hurts big time to read it. In my case I did hear him say "I love you" and even witnessed audibly their sexual overtures in the car, my heart literally stopped, but I got over it and decided that this will make me strong. Knowing more about what's going on helps me in dealing with this. And since you already have this information and there is no way to go back, I hope you can see it this way too.

Of course, in the back of my mind I remembered that my lawyer told me to get all the evidence that I could, so that was one of my rationalizations for doing it.

And it was quite valid rationalization - after all you didn't do anything illegal as I did .

and some papers on a Zaba search. It's funny that he was doing the Zaba search now, since the relationship has been going on for two months. Anyone have any ideas why he might begin this now?

I have no idea what is Zaba search? Could you elaborate?

The hard part is that I have a date with him tomorrow night, and I'm afraid I'll let it out that I know who she is.

You will not!
Rere, you are strong, smart, fabulous woman.
And you able to be in control of everything YOU do.
You are in control of your emotions when you really need to.

We go out every week with my H as usual and I have similar problem to yours. Here is how I deal with this. I go to google and find some jokes on the topic that will interest him, print the pages and I oull these jokes out in the restaurant, as soon as possible. It makes us laugh, even though it is not the same kind of laughter we had before, but it is enough to release tension. I am not able to rely on my own wit I used to have, so those printed pages is sort of a cheat sheet. It works for me. Try it.

"I've cried all day and had a hard time doing my photo work I had to do.

Make sure you cry before you go out - it will release stress.
And will make your eyes prettier too

I want to stand him up tomorrow night, but I love him so much that I also want to see him. Maybe he's seeing me to keep my calm so I won't fly off the handle, or maybe he's seeing me out of guilt, or because the sex is so great -- I don't know.

Right. You don't know. Maybe he is seeing you because the greener grass on the other side of the fence is not as green as he thought. Or it was green but already lost its luster and he is coming to realization that he wants to be with you.

Keep DBing - you already know it works!
And remember, you are fabulous, resourceful, intelligent.
You will do what is good for you - no matter what.
You are able to control your emotions - without doubt!!!!!

He fell in love with you once.
It is very likely that he will fall in love with you again!

cheers,
PandaWanda