Quote: By act as if, do mean emailing him to ask when he is flying into my area instead IF he's flying into this area?
Yep that is exactly what I mean... don't even let there be a question. Or maybe not even specifically ask him when he is coming home... just say something like I can not wait until you get leave and are able to come home and we can spend some time together or do such and such around "our" house. Get my drift?
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
"Hey, Sweetie-I was daydreaming today about you coming home. I'm trying not to get too excited because I'm sure you still don't know when it will happen. And I won't be able to take off all of your leave, but I have at least two weeks vacation that I want to take the last part of your leave. [S3] and I are going to be so excited to pick you up at the airport. And [S3] would love it if you kept him home from daycare and spent the days with him while I was at work. Then we could get the heck out of [my podunk town] and drive down to [your parents] when I get vacation."
Do you think it's too much to ask H about spending the weekend away? In the last year he has talked to me and emailed me as if he never dropped the bomb. He has lavished me with money and gifts (well, to my standards anyway-I'm a cheap bastard). He always signs off with "I love you and I miss you."
Yet, the whole quality time thing is the same old "cheeseless tunnel" arguement for us. He doesn't want to spend time alone just with me. He won't want to leave S3 behind. We have never taken a vacation together. We got married in the courthouse and certainly never had a honeymoon. It's waisted time to him. And it hurts me so bad that I have spent days not talking to him. A year or two into living together for the first time I gave up on ever doing anything with him and started doing things on my own or with friends. Then he accused me of having a secret life.
I just received an email from H this morning that his leave for August looks like it will happen, but he won't know the exact dates for a week yet. So if I'm going to email him to let him know what I'm expecting, I guess the time is now.
I think I'm going with the message I posted above. Not sure if I'll throw anything in there about spening a couple days alone or not. Maybe I'll feel the situation out when I pick him up (fingers crossed) or maybe I should get the idea out there now to percilate. I used to spring things on him at the last minute, knowing that he would be unhappy about company coming over or a paddle or hike at my dad's, so I just gave him less time to argue. But, I don't think he liked that either.
Well, here goes nothing. What ever I do, he usually doesn't give me an obvious response.
I haven't heard back from H since I emailed him about how excited we will be to pick him up at the airport. His ship is underway again and out of the shipyard as of yesterday, so he could get leave as early as two weeks from now. But, I'm telling myself that it will be more like 3 to 4 weeks from now. Just more time to shed an extra pound right?
Oh, and I didn't say anything to H in the email about spending a weekend alone. Maybe I'll do that after I get a response from him. And I'll ask him about going to daycare with S3 (turning 4!) for show and tell. The director at the daycare center S3 goes to actually requested it. I hope H is around to do that and that he agrees to do it. Don't know for sure if he would or not.
