RonJon, thanks for keeping track of me. I'm trying to keep my head up.
I started to get sick yesterday, I guess it was just begging to happen. People have been sick at work and of course S3 was sick not too long ago. So I woke up yesterday with a very sore throat and aching body. By the middle of the day yesterday I just gave up, made sure all my stuff was taken care of for the rest of the day and told the boss I had to go home and lay down before it was time to pick up S3. And I did get a couple hours nap and spent another couple hours laying on the coach. The nap felt good, but the laying around felt wierd. Like I shouldn't be screwing around when I have things to do.
Then, when I was in the bathtub last night H called. He couldn't talk very long, but I needed the call so bad. I'm not a good phone conversationalist though. I usually end calls with H with a disappointed feeling. Like I didn't have anything interesting to say. Like he was bored and disappointed with the call. I tried to let H know about the last couple weeks without it just being a long negative list of complaints. So, I spent most of the call trying to think of something to say at all. And H doesn't usually have a lot to say about his work because it always "just sucks." So we mostly talked about S3. And S3 talked on the phone to his dad for longer than he usually does. Long enough for me to rinse off and get out of the tub. And S3 kept saying "Happy birthday, daddy," because I told him that H's birthday was coming up and S3 is really into birthday's lately.
I have struggled with anti-climactic phone calls since H and I started communicating again. I guess it must just be that I look so forward to hearing from him that when he does finally call, it can't measure up. And I guess it's also becaus what I really want is to have him back physically. It's also kind of hard because he almost always calls from work (where he lives) and I can overhear people around him and the PA system and it's a little inhibiting. And then I'm distracted on my end by S3.
Either way, I'm so relieved I got the call last night. It's amazing how the calls keep me afloat. Even if it wasn't a tender, romantic conversation it was enough to get me up and going this morning for another day. Hopefully I can kick myself back into mental shape and find a little positivity in my day today.
Does anybody have any idea for a birthday present for a 33 year old man with NO space to put anything?
