Well isn't this just how life is working right now. My post from this morning didn't go through. Or maybe I just failed to hit the submit button. Who knows.
I guess I'm still pretty low. I did finally get a chance to use the massage gift cert. I got over Christmas. It was a pretty good massage. I am a big fan of massages and have a regular lady in town. But, this was someone different, not as experienced, but hey, it was free!
The rest of the weekend was a little rough. But, I don't feel like making a big list of negatives, so I'll just leave it at that.
I guess the biggest issue, besides being stressed at work and the sole parent of a 3 year old, is that I haven't heard from H in a while. He sent a short email the weekend before last saying he would call soon, but I haven't heard from him since then. And I could really use a simple "I love you," right now.
Of course, there's all kinds of reasons he may not be getting in touch. He's too busy, the ship went out again suddenly, whatever. But, I'm just so unbelievable lonely and tired right now. I'm really starting to feel depression creeping in. I could take a break, but then everything would just be worse when I came back to reality. I have to catch up some how. The only thing I can really let slide is my exercise. But, I want to get back into shape so bad, and I know that letting it go would just add to my misery later on.
I guess I just need to vent. I don't like this town. I don't like the people. I'm tired of being the outsider at work and everywhere else. But, I don't want to be an insider here either. I'm tired of trying to keep my head above water. I can't even look at the goal because it's so far away. I want to lay down and play dead....
OK. Back to reality. Back to work. Whiny venting done.
