Oh, I'm sorry, WCW. Of course, you're real. And everyone else on the boards. I should have said, "there's no one within ear shot that I want to unload on."
I'm just real low and tired and frustrated lately. Not enough sleep. So much more stress at work. The thing is that if I did take S3 to my mom's for an entire day, it wouldn't be enough. Right now, it would just be so unpleasant coming back to reality, that I'd rather not even leave right now. And, of course, I can't afford to get any further behind at work.
Blah, blah, blah, excuses, excuses. That's all I have for you right now. But, I think I need to hold and with the hope that things will get easier somehow in the not to distant future.
I'm tired and lonely and I miss H. But, at the same time, whenever I think of him I want to scream, "how did my life come to this? how did I let you turn my life into this pressure cooker?" But that's just blame, and not going to get me out. I can't wait to get the next phone call from him (it's been a couple weeks). But, there's still this anger that I'm having to be a single, working mother right now. And that HE had the option of having a meltdown and pushing S and I out of his life to apparently reduce his stress. And now I'd like to have a meltdown, but I can't run S3 out of my life (nor would I want to obviously). I have responsibilities beyond my job and I don't have the luxury of just dropping them all like he did.
