Becca, no worries. I have gotten all turned around on these baords too!
WCW-
Quote: You have the upside of the long distance so you can let yourself have those feelings and emotions, and you can be totally different in email than it would be face to face. Think of that as an advantage
Oh, I agree! It certainly is an advantage. Of course, it is not the ideal. But for me, it has definately had it's pay offs. I can have a horrible day and not worry that I'm going to blow it by letting it effect my interactions with H. It's a lot easier to fake upbeat in an email. AND I can always choose to NOT email him at all.
Quote: you have turned the corner with your H, he is making the right moves. So different than last fall, isn't it?
Oh yeah it is. Just amazing. I'm hoping to get to that place where I can say what happened was an anomoly (sp?) not part of his basic behavior that I have to always be on guard for. But, that probably won't come until we've been living together for a while again. So, several years from now.
Just before H stopped coming home I told someone that, as a couple, H and I did very well apart for long periods of time. I meant a few weeks or even a month or so at a time while he was underway. Little did I know, I was facing forever apart. Now we've split and aparently come back together again (if not actually living together), and I find myself thinking that same thing...H and I do very well apart for long periods of time....
Again, it's not the ideal. I miss him terribly. S3 misses him. And it would be so much easier to even have a partner around part of the time. And I've heard so many DBers say it's always better to be living with your spouse than to separate, even temporarily.
But, after 6 months of next to no contact with H, he somehow decided he couldn't file after telling me we had no possible future together. And that was before I even knew what DBing was. And somehow after another 9 months of just emails and a rare phone call, he found his way back to being my H again.
I remember just before I was leaving to join H is Alaska at his new unit, I was worried about how angry H had been acting about re-entering the military. I told my friend that I was considering not moving to be with him right away. Maybe even not joining him at all. My friend said not to entertain those thoughts because the separation would tear apart our marriage. In the end, when it came time to move, I wanted to do anything I could do get where he was again. And once we were reunited, that's when the sh!t hit the fan.
We do this separation thing as well as it can be done. I certainly miss him like crazy, and wouldn't be OK with living apart any longer than was necessary. But, I'm WELL aware that there's difficulty up ahead when we try living together again.
But, I should report that we may be close to reaching one of the new goals I set. That's a weekly phone call from/to H. So far, he has seemed MUCH more willing to call in the new house. Reason #6 million for getting a place of my own!!!
