House hunting is getting so stressful. Especially when I want out of my current living sitch so bad. I had another hard night at my mom's. S3 is throwing fits nearly 24/7 and my mom's reaction is to tell him to "shut up." I hated it when she told me to shut up when I ws growing up and I really hate to listen to her tell my son to shut up. Even if he is screaming like an out of tune banchee. But, his screaming and her foul mouth yelling and my brother's imature crap is sending me over the edge. Home sucks. I'm so glad my work isn't stressful, generally.

The sellers of the house I'm currently looking at came back with a counter offer that I won't even get close to. Now I'm mulling over offering just a little more than my cap (that I'm already at for this house) or just letting it go.

Thank goodness the R front has improved. I hadn't heard from H in a couple days until this morning. I was wondering if the R talk we'd done over email was getting to be too much. After I got his response to my future question, I did respond again with a little more R talk. Then I didn't hear anything and I got to worrying. I can see this is going to be like this for a while. I'm going to be wondering how committed he really is, and worried about saying the wrong thing. He remembers every tiny thing I say forever. He's worse than a woman that way. So it's so important that I don't say the wrong thing. But, maybe I should just concentrate on saying the right thing (Words of Affirmation) enough so that when I slip and say the wrong things, he will be more likely to forgive me.

I sent H an anniversary card last night. It's our 5 year anniversary next week. I wish I could think of something more than a card. But, we only celebrated our anniversary once and that was only because H found out I was pg and was being extra nice to me. So we got to go out for dinner. Every other year he was punishing for something by refusing to do anything with me, or worse, ignoring my existence. Hmmmm...I have some anger to get over.

Yesterday I remembered about telling H that for Christmas I wanted to replace my wedding ring that I lost 2 years ago. We talked about where to buy it (on-line) and I even gave him my size and the specs of the band. Now I'm wondering if I'll get something in the mail soon for Christmas or not. He is usually really good about following through on stuff like that and he isn't one to not buy Christmas gifts for family. I will be thrilled to death if I get the ring for Christmas. I'll be disappointed if I don't. But, not crushed. My LL is not gifts, but when your R is unstable, you'll take whatever comes along!

I was also thinking that it's time to go back to the DR book and re-evaluate my goals since the biggest one has been met. Gosh, I can't even believe I can say that now I've even considered going back to a C to work on my anger issues with H so I can put them aside and make it easier to move forward. But, I'm miserably busy with work and house hunting and other junk right now.

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