H and I checked out an apartment this weekend. The place was great, the landlords are around our age. H and I both loved it! However, move in date is set for 1/1/06 and the husband landlord is allergic to cats.
But it was good for us to look. We're still planning on talking to them tonight to see if they would be willing to rent it 2/1 instead and if the cat issue is a done deal. If we can't get this place it's not as if there won't be others. H and I even discussed the option of him releasing his apt and putting his stuff into storage. That way we would save $$ and we would only have one place that we would need to get rid of.
On my end, I have made it clear to H that I am willing to consider moving back in with him if we continue to work on our issues, both as a couple and as individuals. I have been weighing my hesitation for moving back in together. I've come to the conclusion that given all that we have worked through and what we continue to show each other, waiting doesn't have to be my only option for guaranteeing that things stay the same. In fact there is not guarantee that things will stay the same as they have been whether we continue our living situation as is or move in together.
I need to give myself the time to think about what I need to have in place to be able to continue our and my work. H knows very clearly that if things return to the way that they were that I am gone. I need to work to make sure that on my end it doesn't happen. For me that means being very committed to my therapy and working my al-anon program and of course continued DBing. It has been said a number of times on this site that you don't stop dbing once you reach your goals but that you DB for the rest of your life. It's like when you diet. You don't go back to eating the way that you did before the diet once you have lost the weight. You need to maintain the good eating habits for the rest of your life.
So, the options I am looking at for moving back in very much include how this will affect my recovery. H and I are beginning to establish some very healthy patterns in our R. My focus is on maintaining those and addressing the other issues as they come along.
