Your subject line caught my eye as I have been through the exact same thing.
Prior to my seperation, the SL wasn't so good. For some reason, a few months into the seperation, things between my H and I heated up. And the SL became so very good.
So where did it get me? ...........
Well, I think it showed him a side of me he had never seen. A side of me that he liked very much. I do think it helped our relationship a great deal. However, there were times when it made it so difficult for me to detach. I started feeling used because he would come here, get what he wanted and then not too long after he would leave. I would always feel slighted because he never stayed the night. Sometimes it was very difficult to hide my dissappointment and sometimes I would give in and start pursueing or bringing up R talks again. Those times did not help our R.
But.....the last time we have been together was over 2 months ago. And this chain of events seems to have been good for him. It seems that seeing how good our SL could be was definately winning points for me. And now that he hasn't been able to get what he wants for 2 months, he is missing it. Yeah, he admitted to me that he missed it and he thinks about it alot. He has even, on his own, mentioned one particular night that was extra special to me and told me that it was special to him too. Some people could say that's just him talking to get what he wants. But it's not. I know it's not because he has had several opportunities in which I have been more than willing but we have together decided it was best not too. He tells me that he wants to be with me but he doesn't want to hurt me again.
As far as your two possible options are concerned, I cannot tell you what to do but I can say that I wouldn't change a thing in regards to the post-seperation SL. Over the last two months there has been a "no sex" rule in effect but that has soley been at my H's discretion, not mine. So I cannot say I actually "cut him off".
A little not to I believe Rene
Confrontations w/the OW are never good. I've had several and all I succeeded in doing was pushing him closer to her and farther from me. The times he "sided" with her really added to my feelings of hurt and betrayel and made things even worse.
