I haven't figured this out! or much about any of of this! And I thank Becca for her reply above about her 2 ideas, that make a lot of sense.
#1. CUT H off-! because if my head thinks , instead of my heart, H must realize he cannot have his needs met by 2 of us. Also, at the time we are ML it is easy to forget her temporarily, but down the road it does seem harder to think H could be this tender and intimate about ML to me, and makes me obcess how it is with her. And yes, I do get more depressed eventually, because after ML it is VERY hard not for me to have expectations. It's hard for me, and seems like also for us to ML and act to each other like it is only "an act", we both tend to cling a lot and just hold each other afterwards all night. Sad, but a place I never want to leave
OR #2. Finally after 10 months of S, even if he still is with OW, maybe H is opening window to me and closing on her. Maybe this will be the bridge of some kind of opening up for any kind of R talk, or even talks of his feelings. My H has said so little about any of his feelings, besides "how bad he feels" At the time , ML with H has been so tender and intimate, and if I let my heart take over, it is enabling to temporarily forget the last 10 months.
