How to hold my tears?

[PandaWanda]

I am also very much like you. Sometimes my mind can be on something else and out of the blue tears just start rolling down my face.

That is exactly what I meant. Just right now, I was calm and even relaxed, writing this message, and all of the sudden, bum,here they are again...

I think that journaling is a very good idea. I find that when I look back on situations I made it through and times while I was writing that I really didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day, it encourages me because I did make it through and I'm still standing. You are also able to see where you have grown or where you are still struggling.

I tried many time journaling but somehow it didn't work for me. I saw some people here use the board as a sort of journal, I think I will try that. It will be good for me and good for someone else who might go through similar problems...

I am a people pleaser. In a marriage where the spouse is not clear about their intentions sometimes we do everything in our power to make them want us, turn back to us, and love us. But you can’t make someone do what they don’t want to or what is not in them to do. Try to do some 180’s.

Hugging and sleeping close to each other is my 180 - I was the one who created distance, but I see that it was driving him further away. In our relationship he is the people pleaser and weak, needy person, I am normally very self-assured with high self-esteem, but this kind of problem can rob anyone of feeling good...

I am working on other 180 - I am still new with DB, but I see instnt results after implementing just a few changes in my behavior...

I am afraid to let go our meals together.
Should that be my 180?

You are not alone. As I am talking to you, I’m telling myself the same thing. [/quoye]
Kalley, it is so helpful to read your words, thank you for your support... This board is unbelievable support for me in this crisis. I am so thankful that I found this place.

We have to care about ourselves more then we care about them.

True, very true. I must say, that I do take care of myself, and my H helps me in this too..

Take some walks by yourself or long drives where you can just be free to cry all you want. The key though is after you shed your tears, you wipe your eyes, blow your nose, get back up and keep fighting.

That is a great suggestion, I love driving, just thinking and listening to music. I have also a boat that is still in repair, but will be back on water any day now, that will be also a huge stress buster.

I’m praying for you and you are not alone.

Thank you Kalley - from the bottom of my heart!

PandaWanda