Since my H. moved out, I can't offer you much, but I will say this: when H. would come over last month, he would sneak outside to call o.w. or check his voicemail. I caught him a few times, and put my foot down. I told him that if we were supposed to be spending time together, then this was very rude and disrespectful towards me. He agreed (after getting upset at first) and has since stopped behaving that way. Sometimes he will even leave his phone in the car while he's visiting me.
I took a chance that he might stop coming by if I said something, but he didn't. You have to stand up for yourself. Nothing wrong with asking her to go into the other room if she's calling OM.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
