I'm pregnant. He's sleeping with OW.

[Burgbud]

Can somebody refresh my mind about that??? Please???

I dunno; seems like your mind is pretty fresh on those topics.


So why am *I* feeling guilty here? Like he's thrown in the towel? Like he's some innocent little bystander that's just waiting on me -- the big, bad, burly shark -- to come and eat him alive?

Because that's what you've wanted to feel like (and, well, me too), and how you've wanted him to feel the past couple of days? And now you've got what you want so you gotta figure out what you want next?

And maybe you were feeling pretty good about him not too long ago and despite a good, honest try, you can't turn your feelings for him completely around this quickly? And perhaps when he dropped the defensiveness and the assholiness you got a glimpse of the decent human being that's still there somewhere? The one you kinda like?

I'll tell you what this reminds me of, which is probably meaningless. As shocking as this may be, when the boys were younger, they would occasionally work really hard at it and earn themselves a solid spanking. And then they'd cry and carry on or whatever for fifteen minutes and then they were over it. It was as if all the crap they'd put us thru and the swats they'd gotten for it had never happened. Somehow the slate was clean for them. I used to get mad at W because due to her family background, she *hated* spankings. So sometimes she'd go toe-to-toe with them for what seemed like hours but was probably more like ten or fifteen minutes straight of arguing and yelling back and forth. And even if the kid would finally give in, they'd still be mad an hour later and something else would set them off.

Now, I'm not going to debate the merits of various child discipline approaches. And I don't think H's mind works like that of a little kid, even though it may appear that way sometimes. But maybe all the anger and talk of lawyers lately has been his spanking. So something snapped and now he's back to a little bit of a clean slate. We'll see.

Meanwhile, don't fight your feelings, even if they're more positive toward him than you want. Just accept that maybe you don't quite know how you feel about this whole deal quite yet. You've got time.