Guys,

Sorry to bust up the warm and fuzzy mood, but I need to put something out there for you guys to digest and get back to me on. I know you all really respected me for how I handled the OW sitch, but I have questions now that H is telling me that the way I handled that is what determined him not coming home. I know, I know. I shouldn't internalize that. But I've decided that when something else happens, it's best to throw it out to you guys to chew on a while so that I have the perspective of some very sharp people.

I just got off the phone with H, inquiring about his cancelling the court action to have me out of the house. I know I *should* leave those kinds of things to Ls, and I'm not even sure why I talked to him about it -- other than the fact that I still kinda want the piece of sh!t to protect himself some. Don't know why.

Anyway, I told him that my atty has not received notification that the action had been dropped, so apparently H's L hasn't dropped it. I told him I truly didn't know how that would factor in to anything, but that my L and I are planning to proceed with the ongoing action.

H was very calm for a change and said, "I'll call my L and tell him to notify your L that it's been dropped. I'm actually going to totally drop my L; I don't need one anymore." I told him that far be it from me to advise him, but to think twice about calling it quits with his L.

H said, "There's nothing I can do. The ball's in your court now." He was implying that he's absolutely screwed. I validated that for him. . Actually, I kinda acted like I didn't even hear him.

So why am *I* feeling guilty here? Like he's thrown in the towel? Like he's some innocent little bystander that's just waiting on me -- the big, bad, burly shark -- to come and eat him alive?

I think I may need a little psychiatric pep talk here. Maybe someone should remind me that this is the same
d!ckhead who cheated on me, accused *me* of carrying someone else's baby and threatened *me* with a court order to kick me and my girls out of our home. This is the same guy who said last week he wanted to re-start our lives together, then turned around and dipped his nasty you-know-what in another desperate ho bag.

Can somebody refresh my mind about that??? Please???