Thank you so much for all of this. hopefloats, thanks for your words of encouragement. Please stop by any time. I need a light like you around. Petiteflower, you're an inspiration. I feel like I'm a magnet for this sitch, as this is actually my third pregnancy alone. My two daughters have the same dad, but he and I weren't "together" when I got preggo with D9. We got together afterward, when I got preggo with D8. During that pregnancy, he left me.

I should be an expert at this. I never "won" my first H back; I'm glad about that now. And I don't know what's going to happen with now-H. I had really hoped he would pick his son over OW. But it appears he's so ticked off about me exposing him that he's willing to throw his hands in the air and say screw it. He told me Saturday -- one week after he had "recommitted" to our M -- that he's back with OW now because of me catching him...

But I'm right there with hopefloats. I won't accept that I blew some chance he supposedly gave me. That's absurd!

I guess what I'm gonna do next likely would blow it, if there was anything to "blow," but my H has made it clear that he's done. And I feel he's crossed the line with me. I gave him the opportunity to be honest with me about his R with her. I could have forgiven anything that would have happened before that point (which was last Sat.). But he lied to me about the extent of the R. That's one of my boundaries: I can't stand being lied to. The sex part is important, too; I'm not sure I could have forgiven the "goodbye sex." But I'd like to think that I could have. I just can't get over him lying to me.

So here's what I'm going to do now, which is kinda the result of my atty. appt. today:

We're writing a letter to OW, asking for her financial information. I'm preggo. She knew it. H and I were reconciling. He says he had told her. She knowingly entered into a R with a man who she *knew* was M with a baby on the way. And the phone records I scooped the other day show the likelihood that she knew he was leaving me three days before he did. It's very possible we could prove the likelihood that he left me for her. We will be able to argue that she intentionally entered the picture to break apart my otherwise happy M.

The biggest reason we'll be doing that, though, is to have leverage against H. Last month, he filed an action against me to force me out of the house, which we have to answer next month. We'll be answering with our own lawsuit for substantial spousal support, based on his abandonment and now adultery.

The big question mark is what H will do for OW. Will he defend her, or throw her under the bus? If I know him, he'll defend her. He's very faithful to his partners when he's in love with them. He could defend her by saying he never told her we were reconciling. But that still doesn't help him out any.

He's gonna be soooo pi$$ed at me for doing this, but I've come to the realization that as much as I would love to have a M, this one isn't the one I really want. He has turned, almost overnight, into a total monster. I don't know this man. He says he's done, that he's back with her now. I'm out of a M. I'll be damned if I'm walking away with nothing, facing the possibility of counting pennies for the rest of my life while OW walks away with the "prize" -- whatever's left of him anymore.

I have to take care of me. I have to take care of the baby. But the next 4 or 5 months certainly aren't gonna be pretty. Glad you guys are along for the ride.