Hey, bigAl! I do feel lucky. Thanks for sharing your time and thoughts with me.

First, didn't you say H said his roomie was moving or am I confusing you with someone else?

That's me. Roomie is moving sometime in January, and last I talked to H, he was unsure what he would do. Of course he was planning to move back in the house. I don't think he can afford rent anywhere else since, yes, he's paying the mortgage on this house (which legally we look at as spousal support). H filed that court action to get me outta the house, but he was supposed to drop it once he and I agreed to our own terms a couple weeks ago. I haven't heard if his L did drop it. H had agreed to me not to put the house on the market until July 31, with him continuing to pay the mortgage until then. Of course that's when we were on good terms. But even if it does end up going to court (if his L didn't drop the complaint), I've got two strong legs to stand on now, so I'm sure I'll get my way in the end.

I don't want to live here, but I have to (legal reasons) for now. After the baby's born, I hope to move. I should be able to afford it (though things'll still be tight) with spousal/child support.

What you really want is SPACE between you and H.

Bingo! And good suggestions about avoiding while being polite.

I think I have seen you going to him a lot lately. Calling him, writing letters, meeting him outside, etc. Stop that.

Point taken. And I've realized that I did get a little pushy. Why? Well, my excuse is that H had recommitted to my M. We were getting back together, having and making plans to move together.

BUT, I didn't start pushing until after the sh!t hit the fan with OW on Wed., so you're absolutely right. I should've stopped. Just stopped. But my anger and confusion and hurt got the best of me. I wanted to stop what happened Wed. from ruining the progress made. I was desperate. I was feeling so wonderful, so blessed, that H was coming home. I wasn't under the stress I've been under for 3 months. I was eating well again, sleeping well again, working well again. It was all so wonderful, and I grasped when it all slipped through my fingers. I'll stop now. Just had to get it outta my system, I guess.

I know the world has screwed you more times than you can count.

Yes, indeed, bigAl. But it's also been wonderful to me -- even more times than it's screwed me. Look at the things we all take for granted. For instance, I may have lost H, but look how many friends I've picked up because of it. You're one.