Okay, so after I've calmed down a little, I need some advice/suggestions. I think the same principles apply whether we're trying to move on with our lives, or repair our Ms, right? Well, I want to start moving on, but I have a couple extra issues that most folks don't have. I need some creative brains to really think about this and give me some ideas.
1. My H doesn't live here, but he comes and goes (in the driveway, not in the house) as he sees fit. This is technically his house. I would absolutely love to move, but I can't afford to. And I'm always passing by the house where my H lives now. It's just across the street. So, how do I avoid him? Should I politely ask him not to be in the driveway anymore? I've tried that, but he scoffs and says, "This is my house." Should I take it upon myself to have someone tow his broken-down car out of my driveway? (That is the only reason he comes up here: to fix his car.) I feel kinda stuck around here, and it sucks. I really, really wish he or I lived somewhere else, where I didn't see his car (and hers) at his house. I also wish I didn't have to know every time he's home, and every time he's not.
2. Short of not contacting him, is there anything else I can do to give myself time to grieve and move on in peace? Obviously, don't confront him. But I don't know how to act when he's around. Do I ignore him, since he's so angry that any discussion starts and ends with him yelling at me? Do I continue to call him every once in a while, just to see how he's doing? Do I say "hello" to him when he's in the driveway, then walk in the house and shut the door? What's the best course of action? I just don't know how to act around him.
3. What about my baby? I'm 4-and-a-half months from giving birth. H was excited last week, but now is saying "f*ck that child" because I caught him (H) in a compromising position. Should I continue to talk to him about the baby, or go back to how it was when I didn't refer to the baby at all? At first I didn't tell him about appointments because he just got angry, and said, "I won't be there." But last week, he came with me to the ultrasound.
Of course last week, he was telling me that he was going to the mountains to look for us a house. We were making plans to move together. We were also making plans for New Year's and Valentine's Day (our anniversary). Now, there's nothing. He says it's all my fault -- that I blew the chance *he* had given *me* for him to come back home -- because I walked in on him and his girlfriend having sex. He says I did it on purpose, to get evidence to take them both to the cleaners. The truth is, I was taking him a gift I had made him. That was it. But now everything's *my* fault; I wrecked the chance to have my H and the father of my baby back home. Arg. Sorry for venturing off the subject...
Right now, I'm just really, really confused. And I'm usually one who can think pretty clearly, but I can't now. Everyones' suggestions are to act as if H lost me over this. And I guess the question still is: How? How, when I live in his house? How, when I'm pregnant with his son?
I'm truly open to some straightforward suggestions.
