I think you have had a good insight into H's problem and it seems to me that it stems from low self esteem. He believes, sometimes any way, that the hard core PNDB is too much for a guy like him. That what he needs is June Cleaver because he is really not special enough or manly enough or smart enough or whatever to truly spark love and accompanying ideas of admiration or respect in someone like you.
You have done what you needed (and what you felt you should) and now you can let him decide if he is man enough after all, but please find something to occupy your mind meanwhile. Come here and help us with your obviously keen insight into human behavior and motivation. You have put enough effort into the whole thing with him for awhile, but I know how hard it is to resist trying something else or dwelling.
BTW, I have a shiney new dollar that says he has real problems believing that the hardcore PNDB is crying her eyes out over this right now. For what it's worth, he oscillates between thinking you are an ultra tough, fem nazi and remembering the moments of tenderness between you. He is telling himself that those tender moments were all faked by you or he has forgotten them for nonce.
