Hey guys. Good points. NY, I guess H was never a player in the game anyway, so it doesn't hurt that I'm stepping out, too. That's my rationalization for today.
I don't know what I should do. I've got people telling me left and right to tell him to go to hell. I don't see the benefit in that, but I don't see the benefit of acting as though it's okay, either. I'm relying on H's conscience to know I was hurt. And where is his conscience?
I know this is a common question, but: Do you think, by not confronting him, that he's taking that as me telling him it's okay to keep doing it? That I'm okay with it? I had told him just Saturday night, when he told me about her, that I understood why he felt the need to see her, and that I would understand if it was something he needed to continue. We are separated, after all.
He said, "No. I went out with her before I realized that I didn't really want to go through with separation."
I don't know what to do. Do I let him know it hurt? Does he know that? Do I continue acting like I am -- like it's his life, and it's okay? Because it is. But it hurts me, nevertheless.
If I continue acting like it's okay, then there's no way I can continue hanging out with him. I can't make him think that he can use me like that. He obviously wants the best of both worlds. But I can't let him have my world. I'm growing his child. I'm still here. Isn't that enough?
