As I start my 9th thread, I begin with my last post from Thread #8 on Sat 12/10:
I agree with my Counselor (and you) that XW is starting to doubt herself and all the decisions that she made. Think about it, if I'm truly getting to a place where I can have interactions and come away not feeling down anymore but feeling that she's pathetic and sad, maybe it's not out of the question that she herself could be starting to see it that way too. My counselor (as well as many of the books I read last winter on the subject) says that's part of the natural progression, and the 1-Year mark is about when it starts.
It has been a year now since she made the final decision that she was done with "us". This time last year, she was in the "euphoria" of her new relationship with the OP and had visions of their future "beautiful" life together. Now, a year later, she may be realizing that her life hasn't really changed day-to-day. She still goes to work, comes home, cooks, cleans, washes clothes, goes to the grocery store, Target, etc. The only difference is she has a different guy sitting at the other end of the couch. Also the couch is no longer in a big beautiful house--it's in a 900 sq. ft. second floor Condo. She must go across a parking lot with a bunch of Quarters to do laundry instead of the room right next to the kitchen (and the machines here don't have a coin slot). When she comes home from work there's a guy sitting on the couch already because he gets off work at the warehouse at 2:00 instead of coming home and being greeted by the two Beagles that she used to say she "could never live without". There are plenty of other examples but I'm sure you get the picture.
Still, all that being said, I really can't fathom at all that it was she who sent the text message.
Take this weekend for example: D13 is over there and so are his two kids because it's his weekend to have them. Because I know money is tight (trust me, she brings that up any time we have to talk about D13 needing anything) I'm sure it'll be another night of the 5 of them sitting around the 20" TV watching God knows what (probably Poker according to D13 ). Me: I have the privilege of going down to the OC tonight to hang out with my good friend Kim. That's right, the Sage of the Board, OCKim. We made a deal a few months ago that if neither one of us has anything to do on a Saturday night (when D13 is away), we'll hang out (and share our misery--kidding). Usually it's dinner, Starbucks or Barnes & Noble (usually poring over the "relationship" section.
Walked the dogs to the Coffee House and hung out there for a couple of hours this morning. All the usual Satuday morning suspects were there. The Beagles got more than their share of lovin' and I had probably way too much caffeine but it'll make for a more intense workout at the gym this afternoon. Speaking of which, I better get over there!
Thanks for listening to my caffeine induced ramble...
