I suppose if you see your R heading for the big D, then yes you could put this stuff aside. I did when I filed against my exH. I handed my attorney all my ammunition and ex never said anything once it was presented to him. But again, realize I never wanted it to work out because once I was done, I was done...as NYer said, I was emotionally divorced long before I filed.
However, if you want to work on the R and DB then I would let it go and just worry about taking care of yourself. These are things that we say over and over again here are out of your control.
I do believe that some states also have a law permitting you in suing the op "alienation of affection." Yuppers now you can sue the other person...LOL...
