Forgive me While I'm in Male fix it mode. I'm warming up after changing a flat tire.
Another idea is the Air National Guard or Airforce Reserve
I served with a company for a short time from Corpus Christi Tx who had some Mexican Nationals using the Marine Corps Reserve as a method of obtaining a citizenship. I can think of no more deserving people.
I suggested the Air Force since * They have real budgets * They have by far the best living conditions. I saw a complete marble shower in an Air Force Officers Quarters. Only other place would be Sadam's palace. * I highly doubt you would be put in Harm's way. * All branches have a real mission you can put your arms around. Even an Airforce Accountant keeps Pilots paid who keeps the bad guys heads down which makes our job easier. * You travel on Uncle Sam's dime and network for opportunities. You meet people doing things you would never imagine. Since you probably have traveled much of the world much of this would not be new but it would be from a new perspective.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
H just called saying he just woke up and wanted to say merry christmas to me. He said he would be over in a little bit, but I told him I had to go somewhere and wouldn't be here. He seemed disappointed.
That's the thing that I HATE: he always makes plans expecting me to shape my life around his schedule. He mentioned he was coming here without even asking if I'd be around and then has a problem that I won't be???
Plus, if I did stay home waiting for him to come, I am sure he would be over 3 to 4 hours later. He always did that. He is horrible with time and consideration for other people (especially me) waiting. And then he stays for two seconds and leaves. I can't handle that.
So I will continue to GAL. If he wants to be part of it, then he needs to schedule a time or make an effort to see me.
Hum... this is interesting...
I told H that I wasn't going to be home when he said he was coming to drop off the dog at 12pm.
I come home after lunch (4pm) and the dog is not here. I guess we are having a "Christmas Dog Trick." However, my friends are coming over and we are all going out afterwards, so if H is not smart w/ tricks he will miss running into Caverna.
H sent me a text message, "merry christmas!" Don't you think it's enough merry christmas already?
Anyway, he has the week off and I told him not to take the dog away all the time, that I miss it at night, when I feel the most lonely. So I asked him to return the dog at night.
Well, he hasn't today. I think he is expecting me to call him and ask for it. He is playing games again. This is so annoying. I'm glad my friends are here.
Haven't heard from H and I haven't seen my dog since Saturday. I know H is provoking me since I have told him so many times that without my family and having few friends here, my dog is my companion. Because I am distancing myself and not crying and moping around with e-mails and phone calls, he takes the dog away so I HAVE to call him. I won't, though. I will do a 180, whenever he drops the dog off. I will tell him I was actually relieved he took care of it all this time, because I have been so busy.
Isn't his game silly???? He has been stuck with the dog all day, having to walk it in the rain and scoop poop just so I react somehow. Ugh.
Reason why H called: to see if I was home. I guess he figured I wasn't and he came to drop off the dog. However, he did come in (instead of closing the door after letting the dog in). He seemed very pleased to see me. I pretended to be in a hurry (and I guess I was - late for work) and picked up my bag.
He said, "you're leaving?"
We talked for a bit and he asked about my Christmas. I thanked him for taking care of the dog since I was so busy and didn't get home till late.
He had this look on his face as if he wanted to come over and hug me. I don't know. Then he said, "you have dark circles under your eyes... are you sleeping ok?" as if to imply, "are you crying over me all night long?" I said I had to wake up at 5am and my friends were over until late.
He asked me if anyone else had given me chocolate (I got about 15 boxes cause I am a chocoholic). I smiled and joked I was getting fat. He said, "You look great to me!"
As I walked downstairs he followed me. I love when he physically follows me. He wanted to show me his new ski jacket, trying to get me to touch it.
He said the glasses I gave him were the coolest gift he got. He also mentioned he was going to give me a gift certificate to a car cleaning place and then said, "maybe we should go there together. I need to detail clean my car too."
Anyway, I left and he kinda followed me to the door.
I don't know what to think. He is being more responsive and following me around. He gives me compliments and looks at me with tenderness. BUT he called the house to make sure I wasn't there. (he didn't call my cell)
I guess only time will tell what goes through his little mind.
I am trying very hard not to call H. I don't even know what I would say to him, since there's nothing to say. I just know he is seeing someone. This feeling just kills me. Plus, I don't know what the heck his intentions with me are. I don't know if he is just being friendly because he feels guilty or if he is really trying to approach. I don't know.
One day at a time... Just one more day without calling...
caverna, try and break it down into hours or minutes if you have too. There are days when that's the only way I get thru it, one more hour, one more chore, one more sink of dishes.... whatever it is that keeps me from doing something I'm trying to keep myself from doing. So if you're trying not to call, instead of saying one more day, say one more hour, or one more tv show, or one more trip to get a glass of water. Breaking it down in to little pieces might make it easier little goals.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I know what you mean, WCW. I already feel better for NOT calling him for over a week. I have not initiated any contact. H initiated them all. I feel pretty good about that. I know I can take one more day.
