Can't sleep. I keep having dreams of H. He called me last night, while I was at my friend's having dinner, just to say he was keeping the dog for the night and to wish Merry Christmas again.
My friend brought up an interesting point: the laptop seems to be a guilt gift. If it was a love gift, he would have given me something romantic, and would have stayed with me.
He said he was going to bring the dog back this morning. I am not going to be available. I am tired of him making his schedule and I have to work with mine around his.
It's strange that when H was acting angry and spitful, I had more hopes of a reconciliation. Like they say, the contrary of love is not anger, is indifference. H is not indifferent(sp?) but he is being plite and sweet. I don't see that as a positive towards reconciliation. I see it as him trying not to be such a bad guy.
I just don't want to kid myself. I want to be realistic here. If a friend of mine was in my shoes, I'd tell her she needed to put her feet on the ground and see things for what they are: H is not here, and that should answer all of my questions.
Another thing that has been bothering me: in laws didn't even call to say merry christmas. I feel weird calling them, plus I think it's their duty. They have been so absent throughout this. I thought they were my family too.
