And then I hit continue and posted before I finished this whole story I missed must have affected my brain
Caverna sweetie you two are talking - you may not be saying exactly what each other want to hear but you are talking and telling each other stuff and that is one big move from where you where before
You are not sure (either of you) how this will work so you have to focus on the future you need to sit down and say talking about the past will just not do it you need to discuss what your future will look like there are tips for this all through the DB and DR book one thing he needs to understand that is YOU will need to talk about what he has done and why - You need to to hear him talk about it and he needs to understand that he can never apologise enough but that non of it means you can't move on from it - but if you don't talk about it you won't move on from it you need to read (and he needs to read) I don't which part of the book it is in somewhere in DB book the bit where the H realises that he needs to answer his W questions about his a with OW and does just that and over time she stops asking him questions
He needs to understand that if you don't ask and he doesn't answer as honestly as he can then neither of you will get through this
hang on
ok got it page 150 of the DB book Schedule Time-Limited Conflict Resolution Sessions its about a couple called Ann and Chuck - it is you guys exactly you both need to read it
It seems to me that you two are so scared of making the same mistakes again that you don't know how to proceed you need a plan - a joint plan this time of what you want and how you will make it happen and remember happiness is not the end result of some path in life - it is something that we make happen as we move along the path we have chosen
Your back in my favourites again
I am becoming particularly notorious at losing people so if you start a new thread can you post on mine so I know that way I won't lose you
