Once again, I am amazed how our Hs say the exact same things, although your situation is still better than mine.
Besides counseling, you might want to look into this weekend seminar called "A New Beginning" that is conducted by Family Dynamics. They are a Christian orgainization that shows a distressed (even divorced) couple how to deal with the painful issues of marriage, including infidelity. I think the website is familydynamics.net or www.savemymarriage.com. They both give info for the same seminar, and the seminars are held in different cities throughout the country. It's an intense three day thing but I guess it's worth it. I asked my H to go, but no luck. I still really believe in this seminar and think it would help you tremendously.
As for your immediate hurt, I know how badly that feels right now. It's hard to get through an hour, let alone a whole day. The only thing you can do is focus on each minute and doing something that helps you for the minute. Listen to music, paint your nails, try some new make-up techniques, read your Bible, sit and pray, daydream, do whatever it takes to make you feel more like you. I know the pain makes you feel like a different person - a sad person who is grieving the awful things that have happened to you. Give that pain to God and cry out to Him to lift the burden off of you. You don't deserve all this hurt, you really don't. God wants to heal your pain.
I have recently become obsessed with singing karaoke, so that has become my therapy. Search for one thing that has nothing to do with what's going on in your life and indulge in that. What about that guy that you were training with at the gym? Is that still happening? If so, how's is going? Don't give up on things that are good for you, especially now!
If your church has a small group that you can join, by all means, go! I have found such amazing healing in others. Please know that you are always welcome here to vent your anger, frustration, sadness, pain - whatever you are feeling for the moment. We are here to support you!
