Deep breath! {{{{{{Misty}}}}}

You should have answered her call. Evil grin I too go through these bouts of waiting for proof to legitimize a confrontation. Weigh it all out sweetie... she's hours away, he works long hours, you're under the same roof, sharing his bed. Listen to NOPkins.

I chuckled reading how your s4 went to town yesterday. I've been there so many times! If it's not a marker it's juice, or crayons, or paper torn into bits, toothpaste, soap, anything they can get their little hands on. Thank goodness they're growing out of that and will actually color their coloring books now.

I initiated, sounds were natural, I ask, he told, I was hurt and stopped any sexual contact.
I'm still confused. What did you ask him? What did he tell you that hurt your feelings? Depending on the answer he gave you, you have to try and remember that when you ask a question, you might not like the answer. If you had a feeling that you might be hurt by his answer, why ask while you're "busy"? Don't sabbatoge what's happening by asking questions - go with the flow. Have you ever tried playing music to drown out any noise? How about gently putting your hands over his ears - like holding his head?!

I do have low self esteem so maybe that's the problem, me not him. I need to work on this.
You have to stop being so hard on yourself. As soon as you hear those negative voices in your head, try to drown them out with positive things, like "he must be so tired - what a good man to be working so hard for us - I'm so happy he's home". Intimacy doesn't have to end in an "O" to be satisfactory.

I'd try making a private list of reasons why you have a low self esteem. Go through it and cross off anything that you have absolutely no control over, and then really look at the reasons left. Address the ones you can try to change. Do things for yourself to make you a better person and feel good about who you are.

The problem is that they dated for 2-3 years before I met my H. Kind of a first love thing.
No! He chose to marry you - not her. Yesterday, I tried reading up on some of your earlier posts to get a better feel for your sitch. IMO, you are still in DB mode, but you're slipping. I think you're possibly coming across as needy or the old Misty to him. You're under the same roof now - back off and let him see what a good wife you are trying to be.

Perhaps I will attempt seduction tonight.
It might be a good idea to apologize for not being in the mood lastnight and tell him that you want to satisfy him tonight - whatever it takes. Positive voices in your head from start to finish!

Pam - who has no business trying to give you advice other than to help. Maybe I'm seeing myself in you and hate the thought of losing my H.

Pam