What has your husband done to correct his contribution to the dysfunctional part of your marriage? Sllllooooowwww progress in this area, my opinion. His patience with me and our children is improving, while he's still fast to fly off the handle, it's getting better. Now that we live near his dad, he's pretty quick to run there. However, his dad is very good at talking H down to a more rational stance. I feel a great deal of support from his family.
ALL contact must stop forever, and that includes ridding yourselves of any and all affair memorabilia (cell phone numbers, photos, gifts, etc). I will bet good money that he still has one or more gifts from her You may very well be right on this one. The problem is that they dated for 2-3 years before I met my H. Kind of a first love thing. So of course there are probably gifts. My H has tons of concert t's and I'm sure some are from here. But I can't exactly go throwing out all his clothes As for the number, I wish to god I could make it go away. I've asked and he doesn't want it to go away so the only thing I feel I can do is let time be the thing that takes it away. Hopefully, cell phones will be changed or something and they'll no longer have any way to contact each other. It's wierd because I told him how I felt about it. I told him that number was a product of an affair we needed to put behind us which meant losing it. His comment? The night he left our house a year ago he had no intentions of ever coming home and so technically it wasn't an affair. I understand what he's saying and can sympathize a tiny bit but IT'S STILL NOT RIGHT!!!!! When an ex of mine's father died, I went to send him a sympathy card and my H was insistent that I not put a return address on it less my ex know where we live. Can we say double standard? Anyways, you've given me some things to think about. Thanks!
Journaling: Overall decent night last night. Yesterday, S4 found a red sharpie marker and went to town with it. I didn't realize exactly what he had or what he had done with it, only that his hands were bright red When my H got home from work, he found where S4 had colored on the carpet in his bedroom, in the house we rent H had a fit! Said he was going to his dad's and would be a long time. H was very angry with me and said it was my fault and I needed to either quit my job or get a babysitter for the kids I was furious but kept my mouth shut! Who the h*ll does he think left the sharpie within my son's reach, well dear H of course. H went to his dad's and came home an hour later with an apology and to have a family meeting with son. After that, all was good.
H kept trying to initiate last night but truly I wanted no part of it. The last 2 nights of sexual activity that I found to be one heck of a lot less than satisfactory made a definite impact on my decision. This is probably a throwback to my previous behavior. I'm scared to be outgoing in this area because I feel like he keeps putting me down. Maybe I need to learn not to take things so personally all the time. Perhaps I will attempt seduction tonight. Everybody have a great day!
Misty
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
As for the number, I wish to god I could make it go away. I've asked and he doesn't want it to go away so the only thing I feel I can do is let time be the thing that takes it away. Hopefully, cell phones will be changed or something and they'll no longer have any way to contact each other. It's wierd because I told him how I felt about it. I told him that number was a product of an affair we needed to put behind us which meant losing it. His comment? The night he left our house a year ago he had no intentions of ever coming home and so technically it wasn't an affair. I understand what he's saying and can sympathize a tiny bit but IT'S STILL NOT RIGHT!!!!! When an ex of mine's father died, I went to send him a sympathy card and my H was insistent that I not put a return address on it less my ex know where we live. Can we say double standard? Anyways, you've given me some things to think about. Thanks! 
When my H got home from work, he found where S4 had colored on the carpet in his bedroom, in the house we rent 
H had a fit! Said he was going to his dad's and would be a long time. H was very angry with me and said it was my fault and I needed to either quit my job or get a babysitter for the kids 
