This morning I went over to our apartment to get my key back and my H was none too thrilled. He said he still was not comfortable with me having access to the apartment. I was a bit angry but stayed calm and told him that it was not acceptable for him to keep me out as I needed access to the computer, my files and other items not to mention see my cats.(Which means I still only have online access at the library!)
At that point I took my key back from our key dish and put it in my pocket. He said that if I wanted the key back then he was going to pack a bag that morning and stay with a friend of his. I was really tempted to say go right ahead you fu@@er, but I don't really want that. I'd rather know where he is even if it means not having a key.
In the end I gave him the key back in exchange for us snuggling a bit that morning in bed. He refused to kiss me on the lips, which pissed me off as that means OW#2 kissed him last. But, being able to get any affection from him was a positive in my books as on Sunday he had told me that my hug privileges were revoked.
After he got out of work today he called me and said I can continue to come over to the apartment to work during the day for the rest of this week so long as I leave the key behind when I go. I agreed to this but you better believe I will be making an extra copy before I do that.
Anyway, I guess overall I'm feeling less like I completely fu@@ed things up and more like this is a temporary, but necessary setback. And, not that I have any reason to believe him, but it seems this has made his future with OW#2 less likely.
While we were talking he said that he planned to get a lawyer and that if I wanted to counter with adultery I was going to have to use OW#1 not OW#2 as nothing had happened with the second one.
Frankly I don't know what to believe about what has gone on with OW#2 but from his text to a friend saying "the affair begins" suggests that it is at least in its infancy. But, I am way more worried about OW#2 as she is my age and not a naieve young thing. She is very smart, graduated from Harvard law with honors, and I wonder if she was waiting for my H to separate from me before she moved in on him. Not that I doubt for a second that my H is pursuing her big time. The other OW failed when she pushed him to leave me he decided to stay. OW#2 seems to be requiring him to break if off with me before things will start with her.
I was so tempted to e-mail the home-wrecking b!tch but I managed to contain myself.
Anyway, I told my H that it was a waste of money to go see a lawyer as it would just throw away money we don't have. He said he thought a lawyer would help speed up the D process and that he wanted to have a separation agreement. I replied that in VA you have to be separated at least a year before things can proceed as he has no grounds for D and because I was not going to agree to anything that would speed up a D.
I'm so sad that my H has no role model in his life who is happily married and has not been divorced. I think he sees this as a right of passage.
So now I'm reading "Make Up Don't Break Up" and trying my best to remain optimistic.
