I must say I'm feeling a bit pessimistic today. My H is back to drinking with his loser "friends" after work most nights. He's told me he's quit smoking as if I'm supposed to be impressed. From his perspective the smoking is worse than the drinking. His smoking used to be such a big deal for me. In fact in the beginning of our R it was a deal breaker in terms of my staying with him. I told him I wouldn't marry him until he quit and then he quit mostly for good.
But now I feel like his drinking is a much bigger deal. I think he actually wanted to stop but his so-called "friends" gave him a hard time when they would go out and he would just drink water. These are the same friends who gave him a hard time when he decided to spend Thanksgiving with me instead of them. Fu@@ers! If they were really his friends they would tell him to go home to his wife instead of being pissy about not having a drinking buddy.
Deep down I know my H and I will end up together but I feel like I'm making no progress. We are getting along better than we have in a long, long time but he still doesn't see me in his long-term plan. I think what really hurts is he'd rather spend time drinking with a bunch of losers who don't care about him than spend time with me. It also makes me realize what a lie it was when he told me the reason he stayed out drinking and didn't come home was because he didn't want to come home to me and the stress of our R. Well, I'm not home now and nothing has changed.
