Much better day today. I don't suppose it had anything to do with seeing my H last night.
Anyway, after my writer's group I went over to our apt and waited for H to come home. He said he'd be back around 9 which I knew meant like 10:30. Started to stress a little when he wasn't back by 11. Then, just as I was thinking I should leave and not let him know I was there, he came home.
He seemed tired and asked me if I had a bad day. I said yes. He said he had a bad day too. His boss has been a bit crazy lately and it is stressing him out. I was worried he was going to want me to leave but instead he asked me to stay the night. I've only been out of our apartment for two weeks and already I've really missed just sleeping with him.
We ended up ML and had a little bit of a talk. He keeps asking me if I'm OK and if I like where I'm staying. (I've been very vague as to where I'm living now.) He said you know I love you and have always fancied you. I asked him if he was happier now and he said no. I said your problem is you don't realize how lucky you are and you just keep thinking we're not right for each other. In the end I said let's not talk about it now. Let's just see where we are at the end of the month.
But even though things went so well last night I know he still needs more time. Today I've repeatedly reminded myself that now is when I have to back off a little more. I'm so tempted to do little things for him that I've always done like the grocery shopping. Since I left he hasn't go to the store except to buy milk for tea (he is a Brit after all) and there's pretty much nothing to eat.
I'm going to see him again Sunday so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he will still be moving out of his fog and I will have the strength to not push too far too fast.
