The spouse is usually the last to know. Lots of reasons for that, and one of them probably is that you're not an idiot, so the cheating spouse may be especially careful to hide their double life around you.
It just makes me wonder how observant I really am. I mean reporters are supposed to notice things for crying out loud. And how am I supposed to go on to write an insightful novel if I don't notice my H calling someone every day for three months straight?
When I think back I was suspicious of the ow involved and when I said something he told me that it was ridiculous because her boyfriend had just died. (Well obviously it wasn't ridiculous!) He also spent a week at a friend's house and when I asked what he was doing at night he said they went to bars. I asked about this too as I knew his friend was in AA. There were a few other suspicious things but I guess I just chalked them up to grief over his dad's death. (He really lost his sh!t when his dad died.)
I guess I need to look at it this way. Before all this happened I didn't think I'd lived enough to write a novel. That certainly isn't the case now.
At the moment I'm feeling a little calmer but I seem to get these sudden bursts of rage and I have to lie down for a moment until I cool off. I'm just worried that I'll accidentally interact with my H during one of these fits.
