That's the million dollar question...Sometimes, I think that they have no control over what they are doing b/c they are so blinded by their selfishness.
I think that it's in those "sometimes" that you got it right... selfishness, and their emotions cloud their thinking too.
LBSs are selfish too in another respect... LBSs want what LBSs want as well, don't they
Not only do I feel like an idiot considering just about everyone knew except me
You're not an idiot.
The spouse is usually the last to know. Lots of reasons for that, and one of them probably is that you're not an idiot, so the cheating spouse may be especially careful to hide their double life around you.
