I know looking at our wedding pictures on my nightstand made him upset because when I put them there he asked if I was trying to make him cry. Well I wasn't trying to make him cry (not that I'd really feel bad at the moment if he did.) In addition to DBing, I'd been doing a little Feng Shui. One of the things it says is to have pictures of the two of you close to the bed.
I guess I neglected to mention I was also upset because I saw that he threw out a certain other item of let's just say clothing that I had given him, which . . . ahem, we had enjoyed. I of course pulled it out of the trash.
Lately I've been really thinking that he is starting another A. I don't think I could forgive him for that. Frankly one A is really almost more than I can bear. It also really bothers me that I was the last to know about his previous A, which I believe has been over for a year now. Not that I'd know. How did I not notice the emotional turmoil he went through. Not only do I feel like an idiot considering just about everyone knew except me, but it makes me question what kind of reporter I've been.
Maybe he is starting another A and maybe he isn't. I guess I just want him to stop lying to me. If he is indeed with yet another woman I'm not going to wait around. Perhaps I'm just freaking out since I'm going dark this week. I just want to know the truth so I can start to heal and move on.
I'm also kinda feeling like so many others here. How can someone who once loved us so much now hurt us so much?
