Hey SS- Sorry to hear about everything your family is going through...when it rains it pours.
And it is amazing how little things can really pick you up...nothing like a good fitting pair of jeans to really boost you!
One of the biggest things I did to contribute to the collapse of my M was the pressure I put my H under. Pressure from having to do more than his share financially and pressure from taking care of me when I was depressed. When that was combined with the grief his family constantly gives him it was probably more than he could take.
This really hit home for me. I don't think i realized the pressure that i put my H under as well, financially and emotionally, b/c i wasn't doing it on purpose. But, it doesn't matter, b/c that was his nature and deep down, i knew he would take care of everything...i took advantage of that. My H too has been the caretaker in his family...everybody goes to him for anything and everything. And that creates a lot of pressure as well...i don't think i understood that...i looked at it as he was so capable, that everyone turned to him. Perhaps i should have asked.
Now that i truly understand my role in all of this, i don't have the chance to show him how different things could be...i think he is just "done." Nevertheless, i continue to DB as best as i can and hope for the best!
