After a truly horrible weekend, I'm finally in a better mood. Last night I started reading a good book and today I began the process of enrolling in a graduate fiction class. I also bought myself some new jeans. It's amazing how a few small positive things can have such a huge impact.
Of course I'm going to see H again tomorrow morning and I'm not sure exactly how I will handle it but I'm not going to allow myself to stress over the situation.
One of the biggest things I did to contribute to the collapse of my M was the pressure I put my H under. Pressure from having to do more than his share financially and pressure from taking care of me when I was depressed. When that was combined with the grief his family constantly gives him it was probably more than he could take. No wonder he wants to live by himself for a while without anyone telling him what to do.
It just really, really sucks to no longer live under the same roof. It's been a week and already I miss him. But then again I didn't move out for myself. I moved out so he could clear his head.
