The moving out part has turned out to be so much harder than I thought. Was fine the first two days, then on Saturday I felt like crap all day. I was supposed to do something with my H, but when he called I decided it would be best if I told him I had plans and couldn't get together with him.
So I went shopping with a friend and didn't find anything I was looking for and was on the verge of tears all night. I find that I am just getting angrier and angrier with my H. I suspect he might be starting a new A and frankly that would be a deal breaker for me. I'm starting to feel like he's lied to me so much, even before his A, that I couldn't ever trust him again. And I hate him for making me lose my ability to love and trust someone.
We're supposed to go out for a late breakfast/lunch today and I'm afraid I'm going to just burst into tears, which is exactly what makes him run away. So I guess now I'm on an emotional bungee chord. One minute I want him back, the next I hate him.
