Morning superstressed- I just wanted to jump in here b/c i have felt the same way you feel. I didn't know what it really meant to love someone. My H used to ask me why I loved him...i used to just say "i do." Several months ago, i sat down and thought about it and realized that love is made up of all the little things. I wrote him a letter and told him why i loved him: for the way he crinkles his nose, for the way he is so passionate about cooking, for the way he is with our cats, for the way he is with my parents...things like that. It really made it so much clearer for me...and i think he appreciated it...after he read it, he said "i'm glad you noticed." I know that i took my H for granted...i just wish i would have the chance to make it up to him...i don't know if i ever will.
And you're right, its so hard to explain to people who haven't been in our shoes why we are fighting for our M. My family asks how i could still want him after everything that he has done to me. I don't think its something that one can explain...you just feel it.
I, too, have realized that i am not the same person i was 10 years ago...in both good and bad ways. And I agree with you that i think my H and I have to D our old M and make a new one. Kind of makes sense since i don't really want our old M anyway.
I haven't read your thread, but I will catch up on your sitch. I hope that things work out as you want them. Take care.
