Conflict is in store for you and the one you love during the first three weeks of January. While this may not be the vision you had for your relationship in the New Year, you must trust that this conflict is for the best. Obviously there are issues that need to be addressed, and this is the time to take care of them. Sweeping them under the rug is certainly not the way to handle your current situation. Embrace conflict, work your way through it, and you will be rewarded with intimacy like never before. The rewards come your way from January 22 through the end of the month.
H's Horoscope from MSN... Unfortunately there isn't much good news for you in the romantic department this month unless you count criticism, upheaval, and big blowouts as good news. You are reaching a climatic point with your relationship and change needs to take place. The more you resist this change, the more difficulties you will encounter. In addition, the more you hide your true feelings, the more pain you will suffer through alone. This month is a time for working through difficulties with the one you love by taking your current romance in a new direction. This is not a time for starting out with someone new.
Quite uncanny??
BigAl/Kismet - Thanks for dropping by again.
you have that man on a string - you know that right? Yes and No... I mean I do know that he can't really cut all ties with me and move on with ow. But on the other hand, he can't let ow go... I was gonna sigh..but I am NOT going to... It is afterall the new year.
Does he usually call you hottie? Well, he started calling me hottie when our phone s@x sessions started a couple of months ago...when I think he realised that he misses me in THAT sense.
Keep missing those calls/texts Will try... H did IMed me a while back. Again with the "How r u" and then some small talk. So, gonna be COOL for the time being and see what happens..
Journalling....Nothing much happened since my last post...
Tuesday H called my mobile again at about 8 pm. When I heard his voice, I immediately handed the phone to the boys "It's your daddy". I had it on hands-free. And I could hear his convo with S8 and then S5 and back to S8 again. The boys were talking and talking, and I could hear him say "Can I talk to your mommy, please" numerous times. Phone was handed back to me. Thought he would say something important but our convo was rather lame... H: Hi! What are you doing? Me: Driving. H: Whereabouts? Me: Driving home. H: I know driving home. Where exactly are you? (In my mind, was WTF would you wanna know? You are 1000s miles away...) Me: Over at the area near Honda. H: How is S8's first day at school? Blah blah blah... Me: Okay. He told you about his day at school. It's not that it's really first day. Just the session has changed from PM to AM. H: Is he still in the same class as T? Me: Yes. H: Oh..same class again this year? Blah blah blah.. Me: Blah blah blah.. H: Okay. Then. Bye. Me: Bye.
Then S8 sent him a text message to him from my phone. Not long later, H texted back and asked what it meant. I asked S8 to reply to his dad but he was doing something else and didn't do it. About 15 minutes later, H called the house phone and asked what I meant by the text. I said "Oh...I didn't text you. Your son did. It's an exhibition blah blah blah". And that was it. Quick 1 minute phone call. No drama there. I refrained from asking him any questions about him.
Anyway, about 9 pm, girlfriend call...had a chat about our boys' first day at school...then she said that I should get him to give me an answer now and not wait till end-Jan. I was rather calm and collected and said that I would wait. There really is no point to get myself agitated and pressured and all for an answer. I will get myself all worked up, and all he would say is "Wait till end-Jan". I might as well, just go on with my life and just let everything be.
Kismet/KDK - Thanks for dropping by. Nothing much happening. No dramas nor soap operas, which is good!!!
Yoyo, those stars are freaky! What date is the ultimatum? Ultimatum is 29 Jan 2006. So far, we haven't argued at all in this first week. Probably because I have controlled myself to NOT bring up any future talk, any R talk, any $ talk and not prolonging any of our convos. Whatever it is, will have to sort all these out when end-Jan comes.
but I think you are handling things well right now. I do hope that I am really handling things well, and not doing a fake ACT. I have resolved to telling myself that "I can only control myself. So stop thinking about it.Stop thinking about what would happen in the future. Live for the moment.". So far, think it's working quite well. Have not pick up my phone and send frantic texts.
Journalling... Wednesday: H did call my mobile in the evening. When I heard his voice, I said "Hold on" and then walked to hand the phone to the boys, without keeping on a convo with H. Boys spoke to him, and then I heard him say "Can I talk to mommy please?" and S5 was like "No...I am going to press the red button" and H saying "Can I talk to mommy please?"... I did take the phone from S5 and we had a short convo. Again ...nothing important.. rather lame type again, asked how I was blah blah... and then asked about my phone (my supposedly Xmas Present from him which I went out to buy for myself).? H: Saw your phone in the shop the other day. Very nice and stylish. Do you like it. Me: Yeah. I like the phone. Thank you very much for this present. H: You are welcome. How much did it cost? Me: $, which may I remind you that you still owe me. H: LOL... Me: Should have got the other model...blah blah blah. SOme more convo about the phone then I accidentally, pressed the END button.
Few minutes later, H called again asked how come the line went dead. Told him that I am still unfamiliar with the phone and accidentally ended the call. He proceeded to tell me about the CNN News about the mine accident in America. We talked a little bit about an freak accident that happened in our town. Blah blah blah. And when he wanted to go, I didn't try to prolong. Just said "Okay. BYe".
When I got home, I did send him a text...wanted to ask him if we were sharing the present for his sister's wedding. Didn't really want to text but needed to know as if we are sharing, then we can get something nicer. And if we are giving separate pressies, means the budget would be smaller. So I texted him: Me: Just 2 let u know that your mom is back from her holiday. And jus a quick question, pressie 4 your sis from both of us or u getting something separately yourself? H:Just get something together...I'll call my mom tmrw. Me: Ok. Was just asking....cause if you get something separately, then I would get something not so expensive. Anyway, your mom was complaining about the cold. No reply on this text..
THursday: H called at about 9 pm. When I answered I said "you are late today" and then passed the phone to the boys. H was supposed to call by 8.30 pm as school has started. But we were still out at dinner. H spoke to both boys then phone handed back to me. H: How come boys are not in bed? Me: We are out at dinner as my sis is going back to Oz. H: When? Me: This Sunday. H: OKay. I will call you some other time. Bye Me: Bye.
Later at about 11.30 pm. Heard my house phone ring. But as I've taken the phone out from my room, was toooo lazy to go answer it. Few minutes later, message beeped on my phone. It was H "Tried calling house but no answer. guessed u r not home yet. nite. nite. I have golf tmrw n Sat morning". I didn't reply. Wanted to...but felt that there was no point. What could I say? What would I say? I really can't say much... By the way, his sister's bachelorette party is on Sat night, and wedding on Sunday...and he is not flying back home on Sat am?? And instead going to play golf?? I really don't know. Don't want to say anything anymore. If he has lost his brain and can't do what is right, I can't help him nor control him. I didn't ask when he is coming back. Really no point, right? Of course I was tempted to ask when he will be back, or where he will be staying...but the answers may not be good and I would feel sh!tty....so, might as well just keep my mouth shut and WAIT and SEE and NOT hope or EXPECT anything. I am just gonna do my own stuff....and not let H affect me.
Will be rather busy...this Friday nite and weekend.. * Need to do bikini waxing * Buy SIL's wedding gift * Yoga * Manicure and Pedicure * S8's sport classes * Shopping for Chinese New Year Celebrations... Busy Busy Busy...so better not be too tied-up with H or his alien-infected brain. LOL...
Got a call from H about ten minutes ago. Line was not very clear. And I was like "Huh? Huh? I can't hear you" and after a few times of this, could hear that H was getting irritated. Anyway, did manage to squeeze in to tell him that his sister is having a bachelorette party tmrw night.
Anyway, sent him a short text...immediately after the phone call ended. Me: What was it you wanted? Couldn't hear you. H: Nothing. Just wanted to know what's happening tmrw. Dinner at Mom's place rite?? Will see u tmrw afternoon. Me: Your sister sent you an email on that. Anyway, boys and I will be late. Boys have badminton tmrw. Bye. H: In that case, I'll join the boys for badminton as well. Will call u tmrw.
So, left it at that....Been conformingto my NOT contacting H first. So far, so good. Will have to continue to be DETACH. TO not REACT even if he is NOT staying in the house.
Goals.. * Do NOT ask ANY questions. * Do NOT REACT when he doesn't stay over at the house. * Do NOT feel DOWN on ANYTHING H does or says!!!
Friday..(Okay this is a bit R rated. Not trying to gross anyone out but just want to journal so that I still have some record of what H texted. So, please skip this section) From my last post, just before I left my workplace for the weekend, got a text from H... H: For my info...are you still as h*rny as ever?? Or cool down already?? Me: It is none of your business!! H: Why cannot tell me?? Want a good f**k tmrw?? Can't remember what were my reply texts...but we had like another 13 text exchanges on these notti stuff I think my last text to him was to ask him to STOP. He did finally send me one that is more 'normal'..."Gotta go. Just spoke to boys...Bye. Call u tmrw". (Boys were over at my mom's as I was out shopping for my SIL's wedding gift on Friday)
Did send him a short text after to ask how much was the budget for the gift. He didn't reply, and I just went ahead to buy something for the bridal couple. And just sent him a text "Forget about my earlier text. Bought already. Cost $$." and left it at that.
Saturday... Went for my Yoga class at 8.30 am, came home and read with S5, then went for my bikini waxing and then went to my mom's for lunch. Then went for my manicure/pedicure appointment at 2 pm. Did my nails, and whilst waiting for my toe nails to be dried, got a call from H on my mobile. Asked where I was blah blah blah, and he would be at the station in about 15 minutes, would I pick him up or should he take a cab blah blah blah. Told him that I would be done in about 10 minutes, but it's up to him how he wants to get to the house. Then, to my surprise, he said to pick him up and "let's have a drink first". I agreed. Met H at the hotel adjacent to the station. Told myself in the car to be CALM, and have NO expectations, and to NOT ask any questions. Throughout our drinks, I was grinning as I was adhering to my NOT asking questions and NO expectation. H commented "You look very cheeky. As if there is something up your sleeve. What is it? What is it?" He was sooooo not used to me being like that. I just answered that "Nothing. Just not gonna ask ANYTHING". We were at the hotel for about 45 minutes... and he was like "Ask me! Ask me at least one question... I am really not used to this. You look really cheeky!" He he he...I sure made him a little stirred. He did bring up about where he would be staying for the night... Me: I don't know. I am not going to ask. H: If I don't stay at home, you gonna show me the angry face!! Me: I won't. Told myself that I will not expect anything. So it's up to you. H: So, it's okay that I check into the hotel? Me: Go ahead. It's up to you. (My mood was still rather good. And I was calm) SOmehow the topic sort of got lost. We had drinks, we talked about all sorts, did 'remind' him that he has 3 weeks more till the deadline, and then we will talk. For now, I will not ask questions. He told me his travel plans (some that were beyond THE day) . At one point, H even suggested that I show him my boobs there!!! I told him don't be crazy!!! And then he suggested we go into the toilet for some hanky-panky!! NO! We didn't!!! The toilet was too busy to sneak into it. .. Otherwise, I would be game for it... LOL I know that I am a notti girl!!! Anyway, as we were leaving the bar (had to get home to the boys), H actually pulled me up and kissed me. I have to say that I was a bit shocked! Of course I seize the opportunity and kissed him back! We then walked to the car and H said "I'll drive" there was no mention of him staying somewhere else...but he did comment something like "These hotels are not gonna believe me anymore. Everytime I make reservations and I don't turn up". Got home, H said the customary Hellos to the boys, and then we sort of got the boys to be interested in their PS2, and then both of us were off doing our business At one point, S8 did knock on our door and we were like "go away and we'll be there in a while!". After that, we veg out a little and then got ready for my SIL's pre-wedding dinner over at my MIL's place. Met some cousins who just travelled from Country Y. We had dinner... and was quite pleasant. Don't know if H felt awkward but I think the evening went on fine. Went home, got boys in bed. H was trying to arrange for drinks with some friends. I went to bed first, and not knowing if he did go out or not.. but he did come to bed and told me that his friends were busy.
Sunday... Early day. Got up and got ready for SIL's wedding. After the ceremony, suggested that I cooked something for lunch back at home. Drop the boys home and we went to the shopping Centre together. H waited for me at Starbucks whilst I did some grocery shopping. After that, we had a chat at Starbucks....talked about my work, office politics blah blah blah. It was quite pleasant. Some of the 'questions' that H asked (NOT getting hopes UP nor to have Expectations...) - Is the job in Country X still available for you? - Do you think that you could get $$ for housing allowance in Country X? Your $$ housing allowance + my $$ housing allowance, and we could get a huge mansion! - If you work in Country X, would it be full time or part-time? Is part-time possible??? So, the job in Country X would just be for you to pass time? - I went to see the big house again. Was really interested but then have second thoughts now. It is really old. Puddles of water in the back that could breed mosquitos. Rooms are unfurnished...don't even have curtains. Throughout our chats, was very calm and answered his questions as much as I could but when it came to the house, I didn't say anything...
Anyway, went home, I got ready to make lunch while H veged out. We had lunch and then he went out to have drinks with his ex-coworkers...yup, the company where he met ow. I didn't ask who went. Didn't want to ask. Minimize on the ASKING questions. He volunteered most of the info. I had a nap and was gonna go out for my beauty appointment (yup...to have my hair done and face made-up for the wedding dinner). Then H called and said that he was on his way home and would I wait for him. Without thinking, I said "What for?" He he heh.. Anyway, he said to wait for him to get home before i leave for my appt. He got home and he wanted me to write the speech for him...speech that he was supposed to give at his sister's wedding banquet. I was LOL and said "After all the thank yous, you can say something like Marriage is a partnership between two ppl. It requires commitment, trust, love blah blah...HA HA HA". He looked at me funnily, grinned abit and then said "I don't have to say that...". He knew what I was getting at. Kept it really light...and went out for my appt.
When I got back, H looked at my made-up face and grinned. I said "What? Ugly? Funny? What?". He said "No. Just different!" We changed and went to the banquet.
Anyway, wedding banquet was great. Had a lot of compliments!!! Even my MIL didn't recognize me. I got so many compliments that I looked good, sexy etc that I actually said "Now I am thinking that I must really look like a cow on normal days!" Oh... had one relative who commented that I looked like one of the Oriental starlet.... (Oh btw, I wanted to look good on this day because BIL/SIL and ow works in the same industry...was hoping to let some folks know that H's wife, ie. ME does not look like a cow! And look glamorous... and H is still 'together' with his wife. And maybe...just maybe word will get to ow that H is seen with his wife. )
Got home, put boys to bed...it was LATE!! And while I was in the bathroom to commence washing up...H came in, unbuckled my bra and started f*ndling my b**bs. And needless to say, we ended up having another session.. till rather late. After the session, he actually made supper and watched football in bed...
Today (Monday), Got up and supposed to take the boys to school. Boys just refused to get up. H said to let them sleep-in. So, we actually let them off school today. I went back to bed, and H said that he was going off. Woke up and was going out of the door for work, when I saw H has left his jacket on the sofa plus a couple of other pieces of clothing in my wardrobe. (Previously, he actually did not really leave anything behind, and wanted to take his dirty laundry back with him to Country X.) Anyway, as I was leaving the house, S5 came running out crying...looking for H. I called H and asked if he was coming back to the house and he said NO. Told him to call S5 as he was crying...and he said okay. He's trying to renew his identity card as he needed to get a new passport, and he's waiting for his turn. He texted me at about 8.30 am and said that he wasn't allowed to use his phone, and that he'll call the boys later. He sent me another text at 10.00 am "Still waitng...talk to u some other day. Spoke to boys already". When I received that..I was like "some other day???" but then decided to not fuss over those few words. Not gonna let anything bother me. And got another text at 11.05 am with just two words "still waiting...". I did reply with something witty to cheer him up.
Okay... I know normally DBING would ask us to look at baby steps...so I will just list them here but NOT getting my hopes up NOR expect anything... - Stayed overnight (2 nights) at the house - Left his laundry and suit behind in the house - Left his expensive watch behind - Asked me to have drinks on his own initiative - Gave me a kiss - Laughed at my little comments/jokes - Did not get angry or irritated at me throughout the weekend - Talking about my job in Country X (Guess some talk is better than none...just that I shouldn't dwell on it)
Okay...the negatives.. - spent money on new suit - spent money on DVDs and music CDs - spent money on new golf set - spent money on golf games - told me that he does not have enough to send money to pay for our investment property - did mention about ow...not specifically her name but used "her"... - said "IF anything happens, I will provide for boys" (the negative is that he still does not know?? The positive is that boys will be provided-for!)
H will be back on THE day... I will see what happens... regardless, we will have to sort US out. In summary, I think it was a good weekend.... despite of all the sh!t.
Got a call from H about 12.30 pm... nothing much...just informing me that he has completed the renewal task, and since his flight is at 4 pm, he won't get into the office, but will proceed to the airport directly. Blah blah blah...
About 3.30 pm. Got another call from H. H: Hi! Hottie! Me: Huh? H: Hi! Hottie! Me: (Grinning) Hi! H: How are you? How are the boys? Me: Didn't talk to them since this morning. H: Oh..you didn't call them? Me: Nope (heard the announcement inthe background..) You are at the airport? H: Yeap...boarding now. Me: Okay. H: I'll call you in a few days. Me: Okay. Bye.
What's with the "in a few days?". Feel like we are courting and I am "supposed" to be waiting for the guy to call. Geez...but not going to let it get to me... So..another day...
Oh...this sitch has actually made me closer with my SIL. It's weird...this SIL (I have two) is normally not very friendly. But with this sitch, we have actually talked more and gotten kinda closer.... Funny huh??
